There is nothing worse than being self-conscious. It limits creativity, weakens resolve, and leaves one feeling inadequate and tentative. I’m experiencing all of those feelings of late, and it’s affecting my ability to blog, to paint, and to write.
While I’m currently enjoying my portrait class, there are voices over my shoulder pointing out the flaws in my implementation. Some of those voices are mine as I over analyze and over concentrate; so I end up turning my once fluid brush strokes into stiff adulterated jabs. Other voices come from without as well-meaning friends and relatives offer advice or compare my painting to the photograph I’m working from; a photo digitally prepared and far from the natural skin tones.
My writing is suffering from the same self-consciousness. People don’t always agree with my opinions or points of view, but instead of accepting the fact that the world is full of differing opinions, they must prove that I’m wrong and they’re right. Maybe I’m getting thin skinned, but it’s difficult enough to put yourself out there without getting a barrage of criticism for doing it.
Why does it always have to be the “squeaky wheel” that gets the grease? Why does the aggressive driver own the roadway? Today, everyone’s a critic and everyone has the “right” answers, especially politicians. I don’t know about you, but I’ll be glad when this election cycle is over.
Our world could use a little more kindness and civility. We need a strong dose of integrity and the needed backbone to tell the truth. We could also use more humor and less negativity. Like Tom Sawyer, we need to white wash the picket fences in our lives and bring a fresh perspective into our homes, our neighborhoods, and the world.
Come to think of it, I’ll start right now. Maybe if I tame those misbehaving paint brushes and beat them into submission, I’ll get over my self-consciousness.
I guess this is probably not the time to tell you that your painting or writing is "cute" either, huh? LOL
ReplyDeleteLooking on the positive side, you're lucky that your builders remembered to insert the plastic housing in the hole for your washer and dryer valves because ours did not and it's nearly impossible to fix after the fact, even if you're Tom Sawyer.
I added myself to follow your blog. You are more than welcome to visit mine and become a follower if you want to.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You :-)
~Ron
Very sorry to hear you're in a 'self-conscious' phase, Carol. Maybe a spot of doodling, letting your pencil, or whatever you use, lead the way out? It worked for me this time last year when I lost my way due to what I now realise was rather ridiculous criticism. (Music or television while you doodle - or write! - may also banish the self-consciousness by drowning out the critical inner voices.)
ReplyDeleteOuch, Kelly! I did put up with a leaky washer for 8 months until the last leak turned out to be a whopper. I love my new washer!
ReplyDeleteRon, I will definitely visit your blog. And Judy, my artist "soul sister," you are spot on! Thanks for the advice. Come to think of it, I was painting that day while listening to "talk radio" news. Bad move!