What if you could have anything you wanted in the World?

Photo - from contact in Uganda (Nile River)

If you could choose anything you wanted, what would it be? To the cancer ridden person, it would be health. To someone who recently lost their job, it would be employment. To a widow, it would be comfort and peace of mind.

We all have different wants and needs. What we choose at any given moment has more to do with what’s going on in our life than anything else. Many people long for and wish for money or material wealth; but when obtaining the prize, some become practical, thinking of paying off debt, helping to pay for a loved one’s medical needs, or saving for the future. They use common sense and good judgment.

Drawing & under painting on 22x28 canvas

Others sacrifice integrity and honor to get what they want, either by pushing others aside or by stealing and cheating to reach their goal. The happiness they seek is a delusion. They end up looking over their shoulder and living on the edge of fear, never feeling the gladness they expected.

Wish lists and dreams motivate us and keep us going, but the actual prize seldom brings the happiness we expect. Satisfaction and joy in life usually come from our own efforts. Sweat and hard work are good for us. When you mop your brow after a strenuous workout, you know you’ve given it your best. When rewarded for effort, you know that your hard work was not in vain.

Beach Buddies II

I’ve made it a habit to compete with myself; always trying to accomplish something better than before. If I feel I’ve succeeded, I’m happy. This kind of happiness doesn’t come from applause, rewards or money, it comes from within.

Internal gratification lasts long after the money has been spent or the awards are buried in a drawer. It is the feeling of knowing that you’ve done your best with the gifts that have been given you. It is your own personal reward for being true to yourself. So pat yourself on the back and be grateful for life’s blessings!

Beach Buddies

The paintings in this blog include a photo scene from a friend in Uganda that I will title: “Sunset on the Nile.” I’ve included a photo and my first drawing in acrylic on a 22x28 canvas. I’ve also included “Beach Buddies II” a revised canvas. The overly big wave in the first version (“Beach Buddies”) threatened to capsize the boys, and I chose to revise what I could. Your comments are welcome.

To All the Friends I’ve Known and Loved

Finished painting: "Hey, Coconut Mon!" -- 18x24 mixed media on canvas

Do you believe that there is only one right relationship, one perfect painting, one right way to live your life, one opportunity that when lost is gone forever? If you do, you’d better change your perspective. If there’s one thing I've learned it is this:  life is a struggle, and it can be downright grungy and gritty in the trenches. But if you hold on to your faith and your identity, it will get better.

 Once there were people in my life who scolded and criticized every word, every action until I didn’t know what to do to please them or to make them happy. These were the spear throwers, the dagger stabbers, the poison arrows of envy, and hatred. It’s impossible to feel loved when you’re constantly under attack, when the eyes that look at you are filled with disgust, loathing, or anger and soon you begin to hate yourself.

I've also learned that love doesn’t always last even though you want it to. Why? Because there are no perfect people. But just as you can love another child, even though your “quiver” or your house may be full; you can always find room in your heart for another child or for someone else.

"Broken" -- 11x14 mixed media on panel SOLD

I’m grateful for the people who have come in and out of my life. Even though the relationships were not perfect or even healthy, I learned something treasured from each of them. I not only learned things I didn’t know about myself, I learned fresh ideas and discovered new things that made me who I am today. I’m thankful for each friend and for each person who has ever touched my life, even in a small way.

Barbara Streisand sang: “People, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” For the first time in my life, I know exactly what she means. We not only need each other and depend on each other, we add something unique and special to everyone we meet and they to us.

 I treasure the friend who taught me about fire stations, and fire engines, and instilled in me a love for antique cars. I will never see another auto show or ride in a classic car without thinking of him. I treasure the friends who loved me for who I am. With them, I didn’t have to be self conscious. I didn’t have to walk on eggs, or be afraid of offending them anymore than they could offend me. Acceptance not approval is what makes us truly happy.

"A Joyful Heart" -- 9x12 Pastel

To hear someone laugh at my fractured jokes, or tolerate my irritating habits and still love me is a blessing. Feeling that you’re attractive and beautiful even without makeup – now that’s something! It's not what’s said, it’s the smile on the face and the glow of love in the eyes. When you are loved you know it deep down inside. You can tell when someone is genuinely pleased with you or not.

The friends and lovers who take us back when we’re quick tempered or sad reminds us of our frail humanity. Friends keep us humble, and bring us joy. Today, I’m thankful for all the friends I have known, and for those who will yet come into my life.

"Tansy's Pride" -- 9x12 Pastel

The Gifts that Keep on Giving

During a difficult period in my life, my friend Alice gave me a prayer plant. “It will remind you of where your strength comes from,” she said. Sure enough, every evening as the sun went down, the prayer plant extended its leaves upward. I was reminded to turn to God more often, and I also remembered my friend.

When a move across country forced me to leave the plant behind, I photographed it. Sometime later, I created an oil painting of the plant sitting beside a garden glove and a trowel. The painting still hangs in my kitchen. Whenever I look at it, I remember my friend and her reminder to reach up in times of need. Her priceless gift of love was simple and inexpensive, but never forgotten.

With the approach of Thanksgiving, my thoughts turn once again to the gift giving season. If you’re like me, you’re already worrying about money, and how you’re going to buy school supplies and gifts. Expectations are high and everyone from the postman, your child’s teacher, your coworkers, your church friends and neighbors ends up on your shopping list.

One low-budget year, I gave my friends a small Christmas cactus. The plants were only $1.50 each; some even had blooms. A couple women accepted their plant reluctantly, complaining that they didn’t have any luck with plants; the rest accepted their gift graciously and seemed to be pleased.

Over the next few years, I was surprised by their reactions. Each time I saw one of these women, she always gave me an update on the status of her plant. When I visited in their homes, I was shown how well their plants were doing. Some struggled to keep their plants growing just for me. Eventually most if not all of the plants bloomed. As the women cared for their plants, they remembered my gift. The perky green cactus became a symbol of our friendship, and a gift of love that kept on giving.

We don’t all have green thumbs like my mother. She had the largest, healthiest plants in the neighborhood. Her African violets were the envy of many. My dad was equally talented and had the most prolific raspberry bushes, peas and tomatoes around.

My former father-in-law was well-known for his garden and for his love of plants. When you walked into his home, you entered a jungle. Wandering Jews, philodendrons and ivy wrapped around the room and crawled over and under the other plants. When a grandchild skinned a knee or got sunburned, grandma quickly broke off a leaf from one of grandpa’s nearby Aloe Vera plants. The soothing gel washed over their pain and tiny tears were wiped away.

He had a wonderful garden as well. Neighbors, relatives and friends were recipients of his beautiful Shasta Daisies, iris and gladioli bulbs. These gifts of love became living connections between the people that came in and out of his life.

If you’re not into plants, there are other ways to share your talents and your love. My 97 year old friend Dorothy bakes bread and cakes for those she loves. She called me the other day and thanked me for sending her one of my thank you cards.

Since I’m an artist, I turn my drawings of birds and animals into greeting cards and add ribbons and feathers for color. Other cards are created by printing copies of original paintings. Dorothy told me she had 11 different cards from me lined up in front of her. “Every time I look at them,” she said, “I think of you.”

Another elderly friend complained when I’d forgotten her birthday: “I missed getting one of your beautiful cards,” she said. I didn’t realize how much my inexpensive gifts of love had meant. There have been many recipients of my cards over the years. It is my way of telling people that they’re worth the extra time it takes to create a personal card and message just for them.

Carol’s drawings and paintings are on her gallery at http://carol-allen-anfinsen.artistwebsites.com/  and http://Etsy.com/AnfinsenArt