Toe-Tapping through Life -- Keeping Time with the Music

The Poinciana trees are in bloom. The "Snowbirds" and tourists miss these beauties.

There is a rhythm to life. It starts in the womb with the beating of two hearts: the mother’s and the infant's. The cadence continues even when the two separate. The constant heartbeat within provides a backdrop for the rest of life.

Some people are out of sync with this life drum. They don’t connect easily with other people. Their thoughts are sometimes scattered. Their internal clock and brain are always at odds with each other. Their relationships are few. They sometimes drive as if they were the only ones on the road. In much the same way, they crash and bump through life until someone or something stops them.

I’ve met people like this. My heart goes out to their aloofness as they try to fit into a society that hears a different drummer and walks to the tune of conformity. They walk a narrow line. Some grow into genius-hood. Others into insanity crashing down the walls that separate them from others as if to say: “Here I am. Look at me! See who I am.”  If they can’t win the game of life by ordinary means, they will do it in some other way.

(Those green buds will bring more red flowers. Exquisite!  Notice their fine, fern like leaves)

In the past few weeks, televised news has shown some of these “misfits” involved in killings and shootings. So many people are hurt by the few who simply don’t fit in. Within their confused minds they experience confusion, emptiness and pain. They go through life unnoticed by most of us until it is too late.

Why am I writing about this subject in an artist’s blog: because gifted people sometimes feel alone and apart. If they or their work are not getting noticed, they feel unneeded and unwanted. Failure is a word to be feared instead of a stepping stone for growth.

"Mother's Day Gift Roses" to brighten my life. (more below)

We all must fail. It is an inevitable part of life. But if we take that failure and examine it, turn it over, digest it and try to discover the hows and why’s we may gain some clarity. Avoiding mistakes the second time is easier with hindsight illuminating our choices.

There is no shame in failure, unless its cycle is repeated over and over again without changing attitudes or behavior. Life is a puzzle. Not all pieces fit the way we expect them to. Surprises and abnormalities are the “norm,” if there is such a thing as normal.

Don’t give up on yourself. Hang on with your fingernails, if you must. Grab a hold of someone else’s coattails if it keeps you going a little while longer. There is no shame in needing help. We all need a mentor, a friend, a counselor. Struggle makes us stronger even if it’s unpleasant. Hope gives us a reason. Faith keeps us anchored to something bigger than ourselves.

(The whole bouquet -- different light, different colors. forgive the bananas!)

It is only when we give up on these last three things: struggle, hope, and faith that our life begins to fray at the edges. Reach out before that happens! Reach out to help someone else. You may be their last best hope. They may be yours.

"Mother's Day Gift flowers -- Hydrangeas"

Thiis Artist’s Heart is at one with the Earth

"Sand Crane Dreams" acrylic on canvas

I was a tomboy growing up. I preferred monkey bars or playing cowboys and Indians to playing with dolls. When my mother couldn’t find me, I was usually up a tree, literally. I viewed every tree as a challenge that must be conquered.

My favorites were the mulberry trees that grew near our street. I’d straddle a branch and stuff my face with unwashed mulberries until their semi-tart taste had satisfied my sweet tooth. When someone walked beneath me, unaware of my presence, I felt all knowing and powerful.

From up here, I could see into adjoining yards. I knew who was home and who wasn’t. It was a hiding place where childish secrets could be discovered and shared later when the time was right. It also gave me space and time to ponder the wonders of the world and my place in it.

"Beach Buddies" mixed media on canvas

In those days I often ran around in my underpants, especially on hot summer days. Once while helping my mother with the ironing, I burned an elongated triangle on my mid-section. That was the last time I ironed without being fully clothed.

The next day, dressed in a sun top and a pair of shorts, the burn now covered with a still-wet scab, I climbed a wide-spreading oak tree. By this time my legs were so long it was easy to step from one branch to another and scale to the highest gnarled branches.

In the process of climbing, I scraped my midriff against the rough bark peeling back the scab and revealing a seeping red sore. The pain was excruciating. I scrambled down so fast I turned my ankle when I hit the ground running for comfort and a bandage.

(My daughter, Paula's, poster she created for her art classes)

I once scaled a tree so high I was afraid to come down. My mother’s younger sister scolded me at the foot of the tree and demanded I come down the same way I went up. Although we were close in age, she was my aunt, and she loved to Lord that over me. If I didn’t do what she said, she was sure to tattle to my mother.

I don’t know what happened to the girl I once was? Later in life, I was afraid of heights. I wonder now if the scolding’s and threats I received put a fear in me that I later associated with heights?

At any rate, as a teen I climbed to the top of a water tank and then was afraid to descend the ladder and come down. This was the first time in my life I’d been afraid of heights. Later, I cured my fears by rock climbing, repelling and experiencing a zip line. I discovered that as long as I focused on the cliff (or my goal), I was unafraid.

(The mountains where I grew up)

I continue to love nature in all of its splendor. There’s nothing like the freshness of pine mingled with the smells of frying bacon and potatoes or fresh caught fish on a crisp morning in the mountains. I celebrate still the wonder of God’s glory in every sunrise and sunset. I rejoice as an artist in the finite beauty and detail that I’m privileged to paint.

Ideas are Seeds Longing for Their Turn in the Sun

So why do ideas get away so quickly never seeing the light of day? Because most of the time, we ignore them or forget to write them down. They slip away unnoticed as silently as dandelion fuzz in springtime.

(Sketch for Illustration -- on Canvas / will oil paint)

Add our own insecurity and some of our ideas seem just plain silly. We pooh pooh them before they get off the ground. We wonder if we’re off our noodle. We dismiss our ideas and give them labels like lame, stupid, or crazy. We’re afraid of using others for a sounding board for fear they’ll discourage us or make us feel foolish.

Drawing of an Idea for Abstract Scene

But one day, we take that daring leap of faith. We peel off our complexes and fears like yesterday’s banana skin. We go with the flow; enjoy our unfettered, unclothed artistic nature, and we fly! We turn ourselves inside out and expose ourselves to criticism and critique. Joy begins when our greatest fears are exposed for what they are: foolish! We step into the light and enter the ranks of “professional.”

Work-in-progress -- Acrylic under painting on canvas

I’ve been doing my share of floundering and exposing. I’ve been trying out new mediums, new subject matter and revealing my weaknesses and strengths. A blog is a public space and you are my critics and fans. If my journey has helped you, entertained you, or given you courage I’m pleased.

My blog contains works-in-progress that explore different aspects of my artistic journey. My goal is to paint from my heart and imagination more, and from photographs less. I’m not here to copy or to change, but to create. I’m taking a journey inside myself in order to be more open, more experimental, and more willing to take risks.

1st coat of oil paint -- work-in-progress

Some of my work may flop, and some of it may succeed. Discovery is a “wild child” that dances, bumps and grinds to the cranial surface from the depths of heart and soul. We as artists must “step out” and let our inner child reign free in order to achieve our dreams.