Painting the Faces of Misery – Capturing Emotional Pain

Many years ago, I was shopping for groceries. My gut felt raw as I floated around the store in an “out-of-body” trance. I was going through a difficult divorce, and felt empty and forlorn.

There were no relatives nearby where I could seek comfort. I was completely alone. My heart was broken. A clerk, seeing only the superficial face I put forward remarked, “My god, can’t you at least smile?”

I must have looked pretty bad. My first thought was that he had no idea what I was going through. I was certainly in no condition to smile or talk. I tried to fake a smile, but it was impossible. I was in misery and I couldn’t hide it. His remarks had made me feel even worse.

My crooked smile, lopsided eyes, and fun-house features were simply revealing my inner emptiness and utter brokenness.

Later when I became an artist, I realized that you can’t paint misery and hurt unless you understand the underlying emotions that caused the pain in the first place.

For example, grief after a loved one’s death is different from the shattered grief of divorce. 

In a good marriage there are fond memories and the loss can be shared with friends and loved ones who knew well our partner or spouse. After a divorce, you don’t want to share the failure and the tragic details with anyone.

"Brokenhearted" 9 x 12 Pastel on Bristol; matted and ready to frame

Anger between loved ones is different from that between strangers or friends. The emotions cut deeper. The fragility of ego and insecurity add to the exploding feelings. There is often far more to lose. The relationship hangs by a thread unless you can get past anger’s unpredictable course. Forgiveness is almost mandatory. The anger with others is sometimes quickly forgotten. There is no intimacy or long-held expectations that stretch the ties that bind.

Try to create studies of people’s emotional reactions. Distinguish the simple breakdown between different kinds of anger and pain.

These subtle differences may slightly change the tilt of the mouth or a wrinkle in the nose. Emotions may be altered only by pushing one eyebrow upward to change an expression. Glassy eyes may add to the sadness. Body language and the way the hand is used to cover up what others see adds another dimension.

Practice will make these changes better over time. Be observant and find out what happens when slight movement gives your markings life and nuance. Your scenes will have more energy and drama; your story on canvas will become more dramatic, more interesting, and definitely more real.

"Serena Shines" Pastel on Bristol, matted

A person’s face is like a road map of the life they’ve lived and the things they’ve experienced. Once you have mastered unhappy faces, go on to those of joy and passion.

The decisions you make about “center of interest” must be made before you put one brush or pencil to canvas; where the face goes so goes the body. Every emotion portrayed must agree with the body language expressed.

"A Joyful Heart" 9 x 12 Patel on Bristol; matted and ready to frame

The Fantasy World of Cartooning

"Sea Nymph" 24 x 18 acrylic on wide wrap canvas

I’m a fan of Shark Tank on CNBC where entrepreneurs show their wares and try to convince the Sharks (investors) that they’re worthy of their financial support and expertise.

Several artists have won favor. Take the guy I call the “Cat Man.” He started drawing caricatures of cats that caught the eye of his fans. After one year, he was making over $100,000 a year online selling prints! That’s not chicken feed.

Two investors supported his dream to expand and continue to produce winning drawings that could be produced on clothing lines and essentials. Very few artists achieve this kind of phenomenal success. I can name a few, but most are associated with a cartoon, a book or a comic strip character. I’ve never witnessed this jump to stardom from one single drawing.

(work in progress #1)

We all wish that was us! We doodle and dream. We scribble and play hoping that one day our attempts will touch the right audience. The Cat Man struck a chord in the hearts of every cat lover in the world (and there are many). Knowing the market and playing to its wants and needs is key to finding your niche.

Animals are adorable especially when they’re young and even in maturity they are regal. Those we make our pets, no matter what species, are fondly loved and cherished. But let’s face it, dog and cat owners lead the way, and people are usually either cat lovers or dog lovers; they are rarely both.

When I was an art student, I fantasized about making a storybook with the main character called the “Butterfly Princess.” Somewhere along the way, I lost her in my scramble to have a family and earn an income. I think of her often, but the passion and the vision of her has faded with time.

(Work in Progress #2)

In order to capture the moment and secure the identity of each cartoon or sketch, you must not only nail your image down early, but draw several variations until you get it right. Unless you do, each drawing will be somewhat different. It’s not as easy as you think to make a recognizable character that is repeated in different scenarios over and over again. The skill requires repetition and patience.

A fairly new cartoon in the comic pages of the newspaper is called “Zits” by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman. I thoroughly enjoy the escapades of the teenage son who frustrates his parents and rampages through the strip each Sunday. The drawings are loose yet recognizable. The storyline hits close to home, even though my teenagers have long since left the nest.

Link: http://zitscomics.com/  

Another winner is “Pearls before Swine” by Stephan Pastis. The character of rat is edgy and psychotic. The naive and gullible pig reminds me of me. The storyline is a little weird; but then again, so am I. The humorous dialogue and spot-on drawings keep me coming back time after time.

Link: http://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/pearlsbeforeswine/ 

That’s what all artists wish for: an adoring audience that keeps coming back for more. Now there’s an aspiration you can hang your dreams on!

Working at the Cooperative Art Gallery

Yesterday it was my turn to work in the Art Council of Southwest Florida’s new art gallery at Coconut Point. This Season, we have a new location; one that should be busier. The day after a holiday (Veterans Day), however, was slower than watching paint dry.

We had only 18 customers, and most of them were other artists curious to see the work of their peers and to inquire about the possibility of joining our organization. No sales were recorded, but the day was filled with conservation and enlightenment.

"IN PROGRESS"

I’m amazed with the ingenuity of individual artists. The gallery represents an array of subject matter and styles that almost overwhelm the visitors. It is truly exciting to be a part of this exhibit.

I’m a people person at heart. As a free-lance writer and consultant before I became an artist, my job was to interview people. This skill has stayed with me, and I truly enjoy getting to know what makes people “tick.”

"IN PROGRESS -- Next Stage"

Each person, regardless of where they come from or who they are, has an interesting story to tell. Some have painful stories that show up in the kind of art they pursue. Others are shy and have difficulty verbalizing how deeply they feel about their artwork and skill.

I listened attentively to two such men who were soft-spoken, and modest in spite of being well-known and extremely talented. Writers are somewhat similar. All of their expression goes directly from the head and heart to paper. They are often reticent to speak in public and shy in personal relationships. Sometimes success overcomes these feelings and sometimes not.

"Moonshines" 18x24 mixed media on canvas

My most interesting customer was a transvestite who donned a wig and the dress of an older woman. He seemed perfectly comfortable with who he was. He used his large hands when he talked, and didn’t disguise his booming male voice. He spent about an hour with us talking about the artwork, sharing his own life as an artist, and expressing interest in joining our network.

Artists come in all shapes, sizes, colors, races, and styles. But there is one thing we all have in common: the way we see the world in color, shape, and form; and a shared love for expressing our vision.

"Through her Eyes" 9x12 pencil sketch from live model

  

Ideas that keep coming back Germinate and Grow

Do you ever get an idea in your head that you can’t let go of? I’ve given myself numerous reasons why I shouldn’t follow up:  It’s not something I would normally paint; I don’t want to promote a religion or have others think that I do; It’s a big undertaking, and I’m not sure it will work.

On and on, I reason with myself while the project sits in my mind un-executed. The idea came to me one day as I saw a small shadowy figure on my bathroom floor made from water marks and smears.

“Whirling Dervish,” I thought to myself. Then I had to look it up to be sure I had the right term. At first, I thought it was a Disney character. YouTube educated me as I found several videos of this unique and unusual religious lifestyle.

I also conjured up images of modern day Shriner's who adopted Mason and Muslim symbols in their costuming. Originating in Turkey, the “Whirling Dervish” is a sect of Islam. They are taught to love everything and participate in a physically active meditation of whirling known as Sema or Sama that brings them to a state of ecstasy.

My purpose as an artist is not to judge, but to observe. I was intrigued artistically not only by the challenge of trying to render this scene on canvas, but by the colors I envisioned in my mind. Combining these elements with the Shriner's, I could see various shades of yellow in the background, moving to subdued red orange; using Arabic lettering and other elements imprinted in black on the paint.

What intrigued me the most was the red fez of the Shriner's; the same style as the black or red hats of the Sema. I couldn’t get the red, yellow and white images whirling on a yellow canvas out of my head. The scimitars the Shriner's use also appeared in my first quick sketch (8.5x11 paper is much smaller than actual canvas). Ideas are born in the most unusual ways and if we try to bottle them up, they have a way of bubbling back to the surface.

Curiosity and imagination are compelling tools that often give birth to unique and unusual ideas. Some ideas grow and flourish like a fountain that constantly gurgles and lives. Other ideas never get past a second or third review. They fall by the wayside because there’s no substance for development.

Don’t put a lid on good ideas. If they come back again and again, they are probably “keepers.”

Ideas are Seeds Longing for Their Turn in the Sun

So why do ideas get away so quickly never seeing the light of day? Because most of the time, we ignore them or forget to write them down. They slip away unnoticed as silently as dandelion fuzz in springtime.

(Sketch for Illustration -- on Canvas / will oil paint)

Add our own insecurity and some of our ideas seem just plain silly. We pooh pooh them before they get off the ground. We wonder if we’re off our noodle. We dismiss our ideas and give them labels like lame, stupid, or crazy. We’re afraid of using others for a sounding board for fear they’ll discourage us or make us feel foolish.

Drawing of an Idea for Abstract Scene

But one day, we take that daring leap of faith. We peel off our complexes and fears like yesterday’s banana skin. We go with the flow; enjoy our unfettered, unclothed artistic nature, and we fly! We turn ourselves inside out and expose ourselves to criticism and critique. Joy begins when our greatest fears are exposed for what they are: foolish! We step into the light and enter the ranks of “professional.”

Work-in-progress -- Acrylic under painting on canvas

I’ve been doing my share of floundering and exposing. I’ve been trying out new mediums, new subject matter and revealing my weaknesses and strengths. A blog is a public space and you are my critics and fans. If my journey has helped you, entertained you, or given you courage I’m pleased.

My blog contains works-in-progress that explore different aspects of my artistic journey. My goal is to paint from my heart and imagination more, and from photographs less. I’m not here to copy or to change, but to create. I’m taking a journey inside myself in order to be more open, more experimental, and more willing to take risks.

1st coat of oil paint -- work-in-progress

Some of my work may flop, and some of it may succeed. Discovery is a “wild child” that dances, bumps and grinds to the cranial surface from the depths of heart and soul. We as artists must “step out” and let our inner child reign free in order to achieve our dreams.