Contract Agreements Need More than a Signature; they Demand Integrity!

"Art Show"  two of my paintings available at http://carol-allen-anfinsen.artistwebsites.com

We’re hearing a lot about respect these days. Do the “cops” respect blacks? Do blacks in general respect police officers? When people disagree with the President, is that showing disrespect? I’ve listened to the arguments on both sides.

I saw the NYPD turn their backs on the mayor who they felt was culpable in the killing of several police officers. I heard the angry mobs shout: “What do we want? Dead cops!” 

Finally, a lone voice spoke up. A voice addressed to both sides. “Respect must be earned,” he said. “Respect comes when both parties feel that their concerns are being addressed.”

Instead, what we got on the public stage was a “shouting match.” Even hard facts were ignored in deference to emotion.

Trust is another one of those words. We all want it. Some of us think we deserve it. But trust is a condition that exists when both sides feel they are being listened to and heard. Trust is not given out like a smile; it should be tested and proven. Like respect, trust must be earned. When both exist, it is because both sides have met half-way to make the relationship work.

"A Joyful Heart"  Pastel on 11x14 bristol; matted and ready to frame.

I did a writing project some years ago for a man who belonged to my church. Because of the so-called “spiritual connection” I gave him my trust and accepted him at his word.

When the project was finished, I turned it over and expected a check in return. Come to find out, he had messed up his end of the negotiation and “connected” with a person who had no authority whatsoever. The person in charge had already commissioned the project from someone else. As a result, the friend who hired me refused to give me payment.

I viewed it as a lack of integrity. After all, I had put in my time and kept my part of the agreement. Turns out he did not have the wherewithal to pay me. All he had was a dream and a slick sales pitch. I regretted it, but I had to take him to Small Claims Court to get paid. By the time I received my commission minus court fees, it was a pittance. In addition, I’d built up an enormous amount of resentment toward him.

When people make promises they know they cannot keep that is a lie. When people lie to us, we can no longer respect them. When respect goes out the window, so does trust.

Here is the formula for success:  Integrity = respect + trust.  In the reverse: Lies = lack of respect, lack of trust, and a broken relationship.

"Fish Market" acrylic on canvas

Trust and respect have nothing to do with color. There are almost as many black cops as there are white ones. Respect is a way of treating others. But here’s the kicker. You cannot give respect to someone who calls you names, abuses you or threatens your life. It is impossible!

Trust is a gift people give you when you treat them well, and you’re upfront and honest with them in your dealings. You cannot trust someone who calls you names, lies to you, threatens you, or harms you in any way. It is impossible! On the other hand, they cannot trust you if you have broken the law and refuse to obey authority. In other words, by your actions, you have not earned their respect.

Do you see how important integrity and honesty is in your dealings with other people? Oh, sure you may get away with a lie here or a punch in the nose there, but sooner or later it’s bound to catch up to you. When you use bullying tactics on others it may turn against you in the end. When you persist, don’t be surprised if someone or something puts a stop to it one way or another. 

Trust and respect is a two-way street. If you refuse to cooperate or listen to what others have to say, it’s like putting up a road block. If you know you’re in the wrong and you refuse to make things right, you’re simply making matters worse.

"Tansy's Pride" pastel on 11x14 bristol; matted and ready to frame.

Agreements cannot be made when there is a lack of trust or respect between the interested parties. If one side is willing to compromise or cooperate and the other one isn’t, you cannot reach a consensus. Only if both parties are willing to put their grievances down can you move forward into reconciliation and resolution. 

When my former employer made known that he was unwilling to keep his end of the bargain, I had no choice but to pursue him legally in order to get paid which is what we had agreed to. Lesson learned: Get things in writing and ask for half the full amount up front as all contractors do. It’s only common sense!

We learn from our Mistakes, even when we repeat them

"Flash Dance" was not juried in, but continues to be one of my favorites!

I don’t know about you, but I get frustrated with myself. I seem to learn everything the hard way. “Why can’t you do it right, the first time,” I chide myself. “Why does it have to be so doggone hard?”

Not until I’ve done something more than a few times do I get the hang of it. I’m left handed by nature and birth, but was forced into using my right hand. My brain never adjusted. I have frequent bouts throughout the day where I reverse things during the thought process. I know I’m supposed to turn on the right front burner of the stove, but when I’m finished with the action, the back left burner is turning hot.

It happens more than I care to mention. I’ve been known to try to go down an up escalator, especially under stress, and reverse numbers or text in my head when I’m working on a newsletter. Luckily the errors are glaring when I print out a proof copy.

"The Perfect Ending" was not juried in, but continues to be popular online.

And why is it so easy to overlook a composition fluke or the way an object overlaps and turns to create shadow? Because artwork is really about teaching people how to see, including me. Some people are more detailed than others. There are not only intellectual choices to be made, but intuitive ones that come from experience.

Beginning artists should not give up because the learning curve is long. Over time, you will master the techniques and foundational skills that make the difference between novice and professional. Even seasoned artists make mistakes. But they have weathered the storms of criticism and error. They have found ways to accommodate mistakes and have discovered dynamic artistic surprises in the process.

When the confluence of color and line diverge in ways to capture the viewer’s attention and lead them through pathways you’ve created, exciting things happen. Energy, emotion, and pure delight emerge and create sensations that effect lasting impressions. This is the mark of perfection and success.

"Home at Last" was not juried in because they didn't like the frame.

Remember, if you’re not excited by your creation, it isn’t likely anyone else will be, either. On the other hand, if you are able to harness your passion and express it on canvas, others will feel it, too, and be drawn to the vibrancy of your vision.

Don’t worry about the canvases that go unsold, or the ones you may paint over. It’s all part of the experience. Nothing needs to go to waste. Watercolorists often cut out small portions of a ruined painting and frame petite ones that sell well on the market.

I've had a few paintings rejected in juried competition that later sold. I continue to sell prints from the originals. It’s all in the “eye of the beholder.” If you feel strongly about what you’re doing, eventually other people will feel it and become buyers.

"The Pose" a barred owl on my daughter's porch. (Acrylic on canvas)

Developing a Unique Style and Vision

"Moonshines" 18x24 abstract acrylic on canvas

Are you guilty of comparing yourself to someone else and then thinking you’re not as talented or as skilled? Do you try to copy others work; not just to learn, but because you fear your ideas are not good enough?

Welcome to the world of self-defeat where you beat yourself up with the disapproving eye of a parent until you feel so inadequate that fear reigns free; where the unique perspective that lives within you disappears little by little: death by drowning.

"India Rising -- The Lost"  18x24 acrylic on canvas

When you drown out your own voice by dumping negative thoughts and distorted impressions over your psych you end up retreating in shame, embarrassment and disappointment.

In order to defeat “self-defeat,” you need to eliminate the following thoughts and words from your vocabulary:

"Americana" 16x20 acrylic on canvas

1.    What will other people think?
Who cares what they think? There are as many opinions in the world as there are people. Since no two people think alike and seldom agree, your opinion is likely to be different. Embrace that difference! It is what makes you stand out in a world of sheep. Be bold. Be courageous. Be yourself! Listen and evaluate what others have to say, but give your own voice equal value.

"Star Billing" mixed media on canvas

2.    I’ll never be as good as Joe or Joan Blow?
Why would you want to be Joe or Joan Blow in the first place? Their unique style belongs to them. Your unique style is embedded in your DNA. Your fingerprints, your eyes, your experiences belong only to you. They have made their mark upon you. Don’t regret your past. Bring it forward. Remember it, use it, bring it into your work and allow it to effect what you do. Show your stuff!

3.    Success is out of reach – I’m not good enough!  Baloney!  Perhaps the problem is “failure to drive.” What are you willing to give up for success? Are you putting in your time? Many less talented people achieve success because they are willing to work for it. Skills require dedication and practice. When you’re ready to give something up in order to achieve something greater, you’re on your way to achieving success.

Sometimes we must be willing to fail in order to succeed. We must make a fool of ourselves and face the music of stepping forward in order to develop courage and stamina. Failures are stepping stones that can propel us forward and lead us upward. Don’t allow failures or mistakes to defeat you. Instead, defeat your fears. Don’t be afraid to put your unique stamp on everything you do. Eventually it will pay off.

"Beach Buddies" mixed media on canvas