Foibles, Inhibitions or Plain Old Fear – The Show Must Go On!

"Para-sailing Roseate Spoonbill" watercolor drawing

I’ve been working this week, filling in for a friend who is on vacation. The next few weeks will be hectic, to say the least. But push forward I must! As a result, my paintings will not get done as soon as expected, but there are other ideas waiting in the wings.

I have only painted one rooster and love the magnificence of these fine creatures. Their color and regal splendor fascinate me. Each has a definite personality. You can see it in the glint of their eyes and in the way they proudly strut their stuff to an adoring throng of chicks.

"Star Billing" mixed media on wrapped canvas

A rooster is a male at its best. A "cock of the walk." Not only are they showy, they can sing in their own unique way as they wake us in song: “Here I am world!”

I plan to do some drawings called “Cockadoodles to Crow about” (If I don’t get plagiarized first). But instead of using ordinary color, I want to use the henna designs from India that I showed you a few blogs back to fill in their wings and tail feathers.

Ideas are the lifeblood of artists and writers. They come and go and we must nail them down before they get away. I’m consumed by ideas every moment of every day. I have difficulty answering questions or following a conversation, especially if I’m interrupted in thought (Just ask my husband!).

Egyptian lure, clothing, and sculpture intrigue me. I want to explore some paintings and drawings, but then my personal sensibilities slap my hand and say: “no, no, no!” Why is that? Why do we allow our inhibitions, our religion or our squeamishness to come between us and the inspirational vibes that sent them in the first place?

I’d be curious if any other artists or writers run into these same barriers; these self-induced walls of fear?

Since I love to draw people, I thought I’d like to do some “discreet” boudoir drawings or paintings; but again my prudish conscience holds me back. 

On the light side, I tell myself, that God created everything and it is all good and beautiful. Perhaps it depends on the way we handle the subject. We can make lewd artwork not only by what we draw or paint but how. The how is the overriding question.

How we compose or position the human body can make the difference in how it’s perceived. The model’s pose and facial expression can change the mood and influence people’s reaction. Is he/she smirking or flirting? Is the work seductive? Is the model a temptress or a shy virginal innocent? Suggestive angles may verge on the pornographic. These unlikely positions may titillate some people while offending others.

Each time a canvas or idea is conceived, we must grapple with our choices while fighting our inner demons or angels. The battle rages on until the canvas is confronted and the paint begins to run. After that we cannot stop ourselves. The show must go on!

"The Neptunes -- Golden Girls" acrylic on panel

That’s my Story and I’m Sticking to It!

"Skudeneshavn Norway" Commissioned painting SOLD, Prints available. Sold Print in May.

I have a long list of paintings I want to create. Whenever I get an idea, I quickly jot it down. Some of these gems blossom and some wait in the wings; never to become more than a fleeting wisp of ethereal brain matter.

Many good ideas are beaten down with the big stick of apprehension or common sense. Do I really want to do anything so risque? Would anybody buy such a painting if I did create it? These are the kinds of nagging fears and inhibitions we are told to avoid. They are the pitfalls that drag us into the dark abyss of self-doubt. They make us question our ideas, our inspiration and skill even before we get our ideas off the ground.

"Vikeholmen Lighthouse; Skudenshavn Norway" 20 x 16 acrylic on canvas (Sold Print in May)

We are our own worst enemy. We sabotage ourselves at every turn. First we’re too young and inexperienced; and then when we gain knowledge and skill, we chastise ourselves for not being “at the top of our game.” We ruthlessly compare ourselves to others. We’re not smart enough, good enough, or skilled enough. Someone else is always better.

Finally if and when we reach some semblance of success, we wax melancholy, worrying that perhaps we’ve already reached our mediocre pinnacle. We fear that our encroaching age may make us obsolete or irrelevant.

We humans are so predictable. We want to be this unique and special gift to humanity, but we give up before we’ve even gotten our big toe wet in the gene pool of competition and exposure. We not only fear failure, we fear success.

"Egret Reflections" 8 x 10 oil on canvas SOLD; Prints available

When was the last time you truly believed in yourself and in your ability to not only complete a project, but to fill that empty hole inside where your unfulfilled dreams reside? What is trust but an innate belief in one’s worth?

Does the seed question that it will eventually germinate, blossom, and reproduce? No. It simply does what it was born to do: grow, develop and bloom. The same things we were created to do. We were born to grow, develop and bloom. But rather than nurturing our hopes and dreams, we smother them with insecurities.

The seed sprouts because it is created to grow upward, forever searching for the light. Our fears are born in darkness and by constantly looking inward to measure whether we’re happy or not. Instead of reaching up to our source of strength and inspiration, we become self focused.

Dreams must be outward focused. We reach out and up trusting that we are capable of better things because we are “gloriously and wondrously made.”

An intense desire to share our vision of life with others can pull us out of ourselves and stop the unfruitful tail spin of self-defeat. When you love your craft and trust in your own inner passions, the thrust will automatically bring you fulfillment and completion.

(Solo show at our club house -- shorter hair!)

Developing a Unique Style and Vision

"Moonshines" 18x24 abstract acrylic on canvas

Are you guilty of comparing yourself to someone else and then thinking you’re not as talented or as skilled? Do you try to copy others work; not just to learn, but because you fear your ideas are not good enough?

Welcome to the world of self-defeat where you beat yourself up with the disapproving eye of a parent until you feel so inadequate that fear reigns free; where the unique perspective that lives within you disappears little by little: death by drowning.

"India Rising -- The Lost"  18x24 acrylic on canvas

When you drown out your own voice by dumping negative thoughts and distorted impressions over your psych you end up retreating in shame, embarrassment and disappointment.

In order to defeat “self-defeat,” you need to eliminate the following thoughts and words from your vocabulary:

"Americana" 16x20 acrylic on canvas

1.    What will other people think?
Who cares what they think? There are as many opinions in the world as there are people. Since no two people think alike and seldom agree, your opinion is likely to be different. Embrace that difference! It is what makes you stand out in a world of sheep. Be bold. Be courageous. Be yourself! Listen and evaluate what others have to say, but give your own voice equal value.

"Star Billing" mixed media on canvas

2.    I’ll never be as good as Joe or Joan Blow?
Why would you want to be Joe or Joan Blow in the first place? Their unique style belongs to them. Your unique style is embedded in your DNA. Your fingerprints, your eyes, your experiences belong only to you. They have made their mark upon you. Don’t regret your past. Bring it forward. Remember it, use it, bring it into your work and allow it to effect what you do. Show your stuff!

3.    Success is out of reach – I’m not good enough!  Baloney!  Perhaps the problem is “failure to drive.” What are you willing to give up for success? Are you putting in your time? Many less talented people achieve success because they are willing to work for it. Skills require dedication and practice. When you’re ready to give something up in order to achieve something greater, you’re on your way to achieving success.

Sometimes we must be willing to fail in order to succeed. We must make a fool of ourselves and face the music of stepping forward in order to develop courage and stamina. Failures are stepping stones that can propel us forward and lead us upward. Don’t allow failures or mistakes to defeat you. Instead, defeat your fears. Don’t be afraid to put your unique stamp on everything you do. Eventually it will pay off.

"Beach Buddies" mixed media on canvas

Does Fear have a Strangle Hold on You?

First Place winner in PanAmerican Alliance juried competition

This is the month when spooks, goblins, superstitions, and zombies celebrate the hidden fears and foibles we normally bury. Costumes and disguises parade as evil to ward off evil.

In reality, we all harbor secret fears that are sometimes disabling. Psychiatrists have names for these phobias. Some people overcome them through faith in God or a power greater than themselves. Others struggle a step at a time to unchain the demons within.

Second Place winner in PanAmerican Alliance juried competition (colored pencil)

I was talking about fear with my daughter, who is having difficulty finding employment. Each interview becomes more mountainous and treacherous. She finds reasons for not following through with an appointment: “They won’t hire me anyway. They’ll find some reason why I’m unsuited. I can’t go through it again.”

I feel for her, but at the same time she can’t remain frozen in time. “Don’t let fear keep you from doing what you really want to do,” I told her. “Don’t let fear control your life. If you do, you’ll regret it forever.”

I try to live by that advice myself. We all have to get out there and show the world what we’ve got. It may not be as good as someone else. It may not be as flashy and flamboyant, but it’s unique and represents who we are.

One of the greatest barriers to self-appreciation is making comparisons between yourself and another person. Because of insecurity or lack of self-confidence, the other person’s accomplishments always seem greater than our own. Our talents and skills pale in comparison. So why do it? Why compare yourself with others at all?

Progress is made and skill improved when we compare our last efforts with our present efforts. Compete with yourself until you feel more confident, and then you can comfortably compete with the world. It works for Olympic athletes. It works for pianists, writers and performers.

I look back over the years at how my work has changed and improved, and I’m clearly amazed. Don’t discount yourself; move ahead with the belief that you will get better. You must get better. Natural law predicates it. Practice and repetition do make a difference (your mother was right!).

My blog contains photos from a PanAmerican Alliance juried competition in Cape Coral. I attended, but did not show any of my work.

Featured Artist

Shijun Munns  was born and raised in Foshan; an old town in the South of China. She currently lives in Atlanta with her husband and “numerous pets.”

“I look at the world with an artist’s eye, and a poet’s heart,” Shijun said. Her work definitely reflects this. Link http://www.facebook.com/shijunart