Painting the Faces of Misery – Capturing Emotional Pain

Many years ago, I was shopping for groceries. My gut felt raw as I floated around the store in an “out-of-body” trance. I was going through a difficult divorce, and felt empty and forlorn.

There were no relatives nearby where I could seek comfort. I was completely alone. My heart was broken. A clerk, seeing only the superficial face I put forward remarked, “My god, can’t you at least smile?”

I must have looked pretty bad. My first thought was that he had no idea what I was going through. I was certainly in no condition to smile or talk. I tried to fake a smile, but it was impossible. I was in misery and I couldn’t hide it. His remarks had made me feel even worse.

My crooked smile, lopsided eyes, and fun-house features were simply revealing my inner emptiness and utter brokenness.

Later when I became an artist, I realized that you can’t paint misery and hurt unless you understand the underlying emotions that caused the pain in the first place.

For example, grief after a loved one’s death is different from the shattered grief of divorce. 

In a good marriage there are fond memories and the loss can be shared with friends and loved ones who knew well our partner or spouse. After a divorce, you don’t want to share the failure and the tragic details with anyone.

"Brokenhearted" 9 x 12 Pastel on Bristol; matted and ready to frame

Anger between loved ones is different from that between strangers or friends. The emotions cut deeper. The fragility of ego and insecurity add to the exploding feelings. There is often far more to lose. The relationship hangs by a thread unless you can get past anger’s unpredictable course. Forgiveness is almost mandatory. The anger with others is sometimes quickly forgotten. There is no intimacy or long-held expectations that stretch the ties that bind.

Try to create studies of people’s emotional reactions. Distinguish the simple breakdown between different kinds of anger and pain.

These subtle differences may slightly change the tilt of the mouth or a wrinkle in the nose. Emotions may be altered only by pushing one eyebrow upward to change an expression. Glassy eyes may add to the sadness. Body language and the way the hand is used to cover up what others see adds another dimension.

Practice will make these changes better over time. Be observant and find out what happens when slight movement gives your markings life and nuance. Your scenes will have more energy and drama; your story on canvas will become more dramatic, more interesting, and definitely more real.

"Serena Shines" Pastel on Bristol, matted

A person’s face is like a road map of the life they’ve lived and the things they’ve experienced. Once you have mastered unhappy faces, go on to those of joy and passion.

The decisions you make about “center of interest” must be made before you put one brush or pencil to canvas; where the face goes so goes the body. Every emotion portrayed must agree with the body language expressed.

"A Joyful Heart" 9 x 12 Patel on Bristol; matted and ready to frame

Give your Children the Gifts of Laughter and Light

Art is everywhere! Famous names are on totes, I-pads, smartphones, T-shirts and housewares. No longer is an artist limited to selling wall art. 

A prolific local artist, Leoma Lovegrove, has splashed colorful flowers and local scenes on everything but the kitchen sink. One of her creations became the poster for this year's Art Fest Fort Myers.

http://artfestfortmyers.com/festival-store/

You may want to explore the Art Fest Gallery of showing artists for the 2016 Festival or get information on where it’s held or how to register for the show. We’re all hoping that the El Niño rains we’ve had this winter will not spoil this treasured annual event.

Today, the abundant exposure to art has given the public new avenues for their own creativity. Groups are gathering in the afternoons for coloring book parties, but these are not your mother’s coloring books! These babies are created by real artists and made for adults. The detail is exquisite. Pages of natural wonders, Zen, art nouveau, whimsical designs, Mehndi, calming patterns and magnificent creatures adorn their pages.

Using colored pencils or markers, one member described it this way. “It’s so relaxing! By the time we're finished, I feel rested and renewed." The sociability afterward doesn't hurt either.

I gave my 14 year old grandson an adult coloring book from Doodler’s Anonymous. This one was large, but rather expensive. I noticed that smaller and cheaper ones are sold at the Tuesday Morning outlets or online at http://tuesdaymorning.com

If you're a doodler, you will love the variety of fun at Doodler's Anonymous from contests, to featured artists and demonstrations to coloring books and tips. You learn something new every issue.  Doodler's Anonymous

Experimenting with art is fun! My daughter is an art teacher who enjoys creating new projects for her students. She related that a football player came into class snubbing art thinking it was for losers. His sister was a gifted artist in another one of her classes. My daughter was able to grab his interest and pair it with sibling competition creating a level of tension that brought out his latent talents. By the end of the semester he was not only excelling, but enjoying the artistic process.

 

The purpose of art education is not only to inspire budding artists, but to help everyone gain an appreciation for art through exposure. The earlier this starts the better. Even toddlers can gain insight as they learn about the various colors and shapes that are seen in nature.

Unfortunately, there is a glaring increase in depression and suicidal acts throughout the world. If one life can be saved by brightening their world with color and joy, we should make every effort to do so.

Reading to your children, making them aware of the beauties in nature, exposing them to the arts may save their lives at a future time in life. Focusing on light and laughter makes it almost impossible to be dark and morose. Probably the best gift you could ever give someone.

"Fairy Glen" oil on canvas

Leoma Lovegrove at work:

Leoma Lovegrove's Gallery 

Fullness of Joy – Where does it come from?

"Namesake" acrylic on canvas

My husband is a hummer. Sometimes it can drive me crazy, especially if he does it when he’s nervous. At other times, it’s his way to stay on task as he moves through his day.

People use music for a variety of reasons. We were in Home Depot the other day and an employee belted out a welcoming song and invited us to have a great day. The first time I heard him, I was surprised and somewhat embarrassed.

I’d forgotten all about him until a return trip to the store and the sounds of singing reminded me of his presence.

“Oh, you’re the singer.” I teased him to ease my own discomfort.

He smiled, waved and continued to sing a happy tune. His playfulness was infectious. In fact, I couldn’t resist. I walked back to him and shook his hand warmly between both of mine. In my exuberance, I felt like giving him a hug, but refrained.

"A Joyful Heart" 11 x 14 pastel on bristol; matted and ready to frame

Later in the day, we met another young man behind a deli counter. While he sliced our Swiss cheese and Virginia ham and offered us generous samples, he told us how much he loved working there and serving his customers. He didn’t have to tell us that it was obvious. Not only was he asking questions and making sure that we got exactly what we wanted, but he gave us a dose of happy wrapped in a smile.

Both of these men change lives every day. How rare it is to find people that are not only uninhibited, but full of joy.

When my oldest son was three years of age, he had a way of holding his hands together when he was super happy and didn’t know how to express it. His dad and I called it “fullness of joy.” Although his hands were awkwardly twisted, they seemed to say what his words could not.

After I painted my tiger painting “Namesake,” I was reminded of a poem I’d heard long ago about a tiger burning bright. I did an online search and found William Blake. Because he was a man of great faith, I suspect he was a man who experienced deep happiness.

He openly acknowledged his muse: “I am under the direction of messengers from Heaven daily and nightly.”

Here is his famous poem “The Tiger”

TIGER, tiger, burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry? In what distant deeps or skies Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand dare seize the fire? And what shoulder and what art Could twist the sinews of thy heart? And when thy heart began to beat, What dread hand and what dread feet? What the hammer? what the chain? In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? What dread grasp Dare its deadly terrors clasp? When the stars threw down their spears, And water'd heaven with their tears, Did He smile His work to see? Did He who made the lamb make thee? Tiger, tiger, burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

The Bible had an early and profound influence on Blake. It would remain a lifetime source of inspiration, coloring his life and works with intense spirituality.

One of the most traumatic events of William Blake's life occurred in 1787, when his beloved brother, Robert, died from tuberculosis at age 24. At the moment of Robert's death, Blake allegedly saw his spirit ascend through the ceiling, joyously; the moment, which entered into Blake's psyche, greatly influenced his later poetry. The following year, Robert appeared to Blake in a vision and presented him with a new method of printing his works, which Blake called "illuminated printing." Once incorporated, this method allowed Blake to control every aspect of the production of his art.

While Blake was an established engraver, soon he began receiving commissions to paint watercolors, and he painted scenes from the works of Milton, Dante, Shakespeare and the Bible.

What “Tiger” is burning brightly in your life? Where do the influences come for your art? Do you tap into the dark side or the light? What triggers your passion to create?

Tiger LIly

Eat Your Heart Out -- This one's for me!

"Through her Eyes" 9 x 12 quick sketch of live model

I used to think my ex mother-in-law was an old fuddyduddy. She was a rock hound, of all things, who spent precious time polishing stones. She also made fragile sand paintings inside of bottles that disappeared in a heartbeat if one of them got pushed over. She spent hours in her garden. Her house was an absolute dust bowl!

On a positive note, her grandchildren adored her and gathered around in joyful anticipation when she started one of her “projects.”

I thought of her the other day as I gathered still more poinciana seed pods to add to my collection. “Have I reached that predictable time of life,” I wondered, “when simple things seem much more precious than the purchased junk we usually settle on to clutter our lives?”

Out of guilt, I did try to neaten up my seed collection; more for those who would look askance at my seldom used dining room table which is now covered with beautiful “finds” from the fields and walkways where I exercise.

"Mother and Child" 8 x 10 print

My ex mother-in-law had it right. She would rather spend her days in the garden and out in nature than cleaning a house that grows dusty each day and needs to be cleaned again and again to keep it pristine. She was part of a culture that believed frivolity and self-indulgence were sinful. Artistic endeavors were frowned upon.

In her day, she may have been a frustrated closet artist. Her stone jewelry and sand paintings were cherished by many. She emptied her heart into each piece and used her fingers to create things from nature that others may have considered useful and practical. 

There was no guilt in leaving her cleaning behind to work in the garden, to cull the weeds that needed tending to or the people at church or in her family who needed her. “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” she’d been taught and so hers were busy all the day long.

I feel closer to her today than I did back then when she scrutinized my habits and frowned upon those times of relaxation as if they were sinful. Today, at long last, I understand her. I feel a kinship with her yearnings; probably many of them unfulfilled. She would never have admitted it, but she was an artist in her heart of hearts.

"Siesta" drawing with digital color

The wasted moments of our lives do go by in a heartbeat. Soon we all grow old and in the looking back we wonder what we’ve missed? In hind sight, the tender moments spent with a child are far more precious than the accolades of others that are fleeting and fickle. The ticktock of the clock sounds louder with age, and we wish we could squeeze every drop of laughter and sunshine into that place within that holds them dear.

Now I watch the dust settle and rise on the furniture and the baseboards while I capture some fleeting thought that may burgeon into a masterpiece that only I can see. I listen to the critics and hold my tongue. Imperfect, they imply, but before me I see yesterdays trail of tears melting onto canvas or paper in a colorful crescendo of joy.

Eat your heart out, I think quietly; this one’s for me!

"Release -- my Trail of Tears" 24 x 30 canvas (side panels available)

Below is the most amazing works of art you’ll ever see. It seems like a secret the artist wishes to reveal to you piece by piece.

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Laughter is often the Best Medicine; prescribe it for yourself!

"A Joyful Heart" 11 x 14 pastel on bristol

It’s true! You can’t be sad or angry when you’re laughing. When you laugh, you feel better – it’s a given! So why don’t we do it more often?

We get in a hole that we can’t dig ourselves out of. When everything looks bleak, we shut ourselves off from the very inspiration or people that could help us. We need a hand out and a hand up, but our pride prevents us from reaching out.

The cure for what ails us is close at hand, but our grief and gloom can’t see it. If this describes you, take heart in the fact that you’re not alone. Everyone has these moments when they feel lost and in the dark. We all face disappointment and unhappiness. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and laughter can ease the pain.

Comparing your plight to someone else’s may help you see beyond the present moment. Look around and analyze how other people handle trials and tribulations. How do they cope? Where does their courage and faith come from? You can always find another person with larger failures, greater pain and physical limitations than your own.

"Broken Hearted" 11 x 14 pastel on bristol

Here is a man who was homeless for most of his life; a man who wrote beautiful poetry. Finally, someone saw the beauty in his soul.

http://vimeo.com/85667492 

If you’re life is going well, you could be that person who reaches out to help someone else. If more people would do this, less heartache, drug overdoses or suicide attempts would occur. We are our brothers and sisters keepers or, at least, we should be.

Unfortunately an introverted selfishness has crept into our society. You can feel it when you’re shopping, driving on the highway, waiting in lines at the grocery store, interacting with strangers in public places.

Are you the one who cuts other people off on the road? Do you race past others and elbow your way to the front of the line? When was the last time you allowed someone else to go before you? It’s surprising how much better you feel about yourself when grace and courtesy becomes the norm instead of a rarity.

"Moody Blues" oil on canvas

Stress busters are just that: they’re actions taken by you that pull back the driving forces of your life. When you slow down and enjoy the moment instead of racing to the finish, your food tastes better, people become more likable, tension is gradually released and the world looks bright once again.

We all live on the same planet. We breathe the same air. We have the same needs and wants. Isn’t it time we tried to make this earth more peaceable and user friendly? Why not crush evil and incivility with kindness and faith. Let’s crawl out of our dark holes of self-centeredness and welcome life with new joy and purpose.

"With These Hands -- Love" 24 x 18 oil on canvas

The Quiet Strength Among us: People who Face Trials with Courage and a Smile

"The Dregs of Winter" original drawing; prints available

They are all around us. You won’t read about them in the newspaper; unless, of course, they serve somebody else’s personal or political agenda. You won’t hear them complaining or whining for attention, either. They go about their business quietly without fanfare.

They are you and me. They are our neighbors, relatives and friends. They are heroes and role models. They are silent lambs who suffer courageously regardless of what life throws at them. Most do not deserve their fate, “for the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favor to men of skill; but time and chance happens to them all.” (ECC 9:11 KJV)

Life on earth is a challenge. Our bodies may become diseased. We may suffer accident or illness. We may be maimed, disabled, or made infirm. If it’s any comfort, we are not singled out by life or by God, but as Ecclesiastes states: “time and chance happens to us all.” The crux of the matter is: What will be our response?

"A Joyful Heart" original pastel drawing

A video presentation on www.godvine.com features a courageous man named Charlie Parker who was born without arms. His remarkable parents decided from the get-go that they would encourage Charlie and instill in him the belief that he could do whatever he set his mind to. Charlie’s father said: “We wanted his childhood to be as close to any other child’s as possible.”

As a result, Charlie learned how to ride a tricycle, a bicycle, and later a car. He graduated from high school, from college, and he did all of these things by learning to do things his way. Without arms, he used his feet to steer and his mouth and the space between his cheek and shoulder to manipulate the controls. His first automobile at age 16 was an Impala. He helped adjust the controls to meet his needs.

“Every step of the way in life there have been people who said that I can't do things,” said Charlie: “Said that I couldn't ride a bicycle; Said that I couldn't live on my own. Couldn't get a good job and support myself or I couldn't go to college and graduate. I don't listen too much to people when they tell me I can't do something.”

"With these Hands -- Hope" 16 x 20 mixed media on canvas

Today Charlie is an engineer at Hendrick Motorsports, a top tier NASCAR race car design firm. He designs and modifies racing cars for optimum performance. He uses his feet on the keyboard of a computer. He has worked at Hendrick for the past eight years. 

http://youtu.be/ILJGpjdY9U8

Charlie does not allow his disability to hold him back or stop him from living a full and productive life. No whiner here, he never has and never will allow self-pity or the jeers of others to deter him from doing what he wants to do. The family’s faith and their trust in and belief in God provided Charlie with a strong foundation that helped him weather the storms of life.

God is not some cosmic puppeteer, pulling our strings and causing bad things to happen to us either as punishment for our misdeeds, or because he doesn’t care or really isn’t there (the world’s thinking in a nutshell). 

Time and chance happens to us all. Life is unpredictable. If we ask him, God will comfort us, strengthen us, and help us as we go through this turbulent landscape (and sometimes even when we don’t ask). God neither manipulates nor alters the choices that we or other human beings make. How else could justice prevail and mercy reign? If we were only puppets in a great cosmic game, how could we be held accountable for the harm we cause to others? 

We cannot choose what happens to us in life. We can only choose what our response will be. Faith is letting go of doubts and fears by laying our burdens down at the feet of God. The Newscaster, Robin Robinson said it best: “When fear comes knocking, let faith open the door.”

"India Rising -- the Found" mixed media on canvas

The Gifts that Keep on Giving

During a difficult period in my life, my friend Alice gave me a prayer plant. “It will remind you of where your strength comes from,” she said. Sure enough, every evening as the sun went down, the prayer plant extended its leaves upward. I was reminded to turn to God more often, and I also remembered my friend.

When a move across country forced me to leave the plant behind, I photographed it. Sometime later, I created an oil painting of the plant sitting beside a garden glove and a trowel. The painting still hangs in my kitchen. Whenever I look at it, I remember my friend and her reminder to reach up in times of need. Her priceless gift of love was simple and inexpensive, but never forgotten.

(A new prayer plant to replace the first)

With the approach of school in August, my thoughts turn once again to the gift-giving season. If you’re like me, you worry about money, and how you’re going to afford gifts? Expectations are high and everyone from the postman, your child’s teacher, your co-workers, your friends and neighbors end up on your shopping list.

(Christmas Cactus, started from one small leaf.)

One low-budget year, I gave my friends and co-workers a small Christmas cactus. The plants were only $1.50 each; some even had blooms. A couple women accepted their plant reluctantly, complaining that they didn’t have any luck with plants; the rest accepted their gift graciously and seemed to be pleased.

Over the next few years, I was surprised by their reactions. Each time I saw one of these women in a social or work setting, she always gave me an update on the status of her plant. When I visited in their homes, I was shown how well their plants were doing. Some struggled to keep their plants growing just for me. Eventually most if not all of the plants bloomed. As the women cared for their plants, they remembered my gift. The perky green cactus became a symbol of our friendship, and a gift of love that kept on giving.

(A lovely Fuschia plant growing outdoors)

But you need to plan early! A plant needs several weeks to “start” (or you can buy starts at your favorite nursery). The same year that I gave the cactus plants away, I purchased one for myself. That plant is now three feet in diameter, and bloomed three times this past year. Plus I started another plant from this one, and the restart is almost as big as its mother. I couldn't help but think of all the women I had given a cactus to over the years, and I hoped their plants had brought them as much joy as mine have brought me.

A Christmas cactus is an easy plant to start. Break off a leaf, soak it in water until small white roots appear and plant it in potting soil. Now is the time to begin your gifts of love. Who knows, you could save some money, and you’re sure to be remembered for a lifetime.

Roll with the Punches and Come out Fighting

"A Joyful Heart" 9 x 12 Pastel

Stuff happens! Calamity is waiting in the wings – it’s a given. The only thing we can’t determine is when. My most recent scrape happened with an innocent and perhaps ignorant download of a so-called “preview” of Microsoft Windows 8.

That decision cost me $300 in Tech Support, and a loss of all of my programs, many that were near and dear to my heart. I still have an icon on my desktop called “removed programs.” I can’t restore them, and so they remain as a testimony to a download gone bad.

"Broken Hearted" 9 x 12 pastel

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Windows 8 speed and functionality on the web. What I didn’t like was that it devoured, consumed, and completely took over my computer. My backup didn’t even work and I lost precious photos and files. When I called Microsoft, they said the download may not have been theirs (it worked well?). The only remedy: re-install Windows 7 or purchase Windows 8 and move on.

In my book, that’s blackmail. If you have to sell product by corrupting unsuspecting “previewer’s” current systems, you’re either desperate or dishonest. In either case, I received no help or assistance from Microsoft and “recovering” my computer to its original manufacturer’s state has cost me precious time, money and valuable material.

"Raccoons at Sunrise" 16 x 20 acrylic on canvas

In the middle of the crisis, I was amazed that I didn't fall apart. I think I would have several years ago. In this case, I just plugged along day after day, putting one foot in front of the other, handling one crisis at a time.

What’s the difference; maturity perhaps? A solid marriage and my inner faith in God? The realization that it’s “out of my hands?” All of the above, I suppose. When the world is in chaos around us, knowing that “this too shall pass” never hurts and allows us to be at peace when everything else is in turmoil.

Yes, Stuff happens and when circumstances are out of our control we must “let go” and wait patiently for things to resolve themselves. There’s no point in “losing it” or giving in to fear, anger, or our inner child. Life goes on and we must pick ourselves up and try again.

Thank you for waiting patiently while I try to fix these problems. My blog has been late and my painting time has suffered. But life marches on and so will I.