Roll with the Punches and Live in the Moment

Work in Progress -- Black-eyed Junco  Oil on Canvas (white marks / edits)

I completed reading the book: “A Shoemaker’s Wife” by Adriana Trigiani; a delightful tale which takes place in the Alps of Italy. I was intrigued by this story having traveled to this area and experienced the beauty and the people of that region first hand.

I wrote down the advice given to the young bride, a key character in the story, because I knew it was a golden nugget of truth: “Don’t worry about bad things that haven’t happened yet. It will save you a lot of anxiety.”

We all tend to worry about the things we fear and the events that we suspect are inevitable. We waste time and effort fretting about those things that we cannot control most of which never happen. If we followed the advice of the author, and stopped worrying about “bad things that haven’t happened (or may never happen), we’d be a lot better off.

I was told this was a walnut tree, but they don't develop a real nut???

I’m reminded of an experience I had years ago when I was in charge of a Hawaiian dinner that was being held outdoors. On the ground, we had colorful cushions placed around lengths of white butcher paper that served as a table cloth. Fresh flowers adorned the paper at intervals. Barbecue grills were set up for cooking, and leis were given out to each guest.

A former resident from Hawaii provided music and dancing while the food was cooking. What could go wrong? And then a rain storm moved in quickly and forced us inside. We pulled the barbecue grills under the eaves, gathered our cushions, flowers, and table adornments indoors and improvised things from there.

Initially, I thought I might come “unglued” and fall apart the stress was so great, but I didn’t. With the help of others who pitched in to help, we ended up having a glorious time. I learned how important it is to be adaptable. When fear and a crisis threaten to shake your sanity and your coping mechanisms, go with the flow. Roll with the punches and deal with one crisis at a time. Of course, a sense of humor never hurts either.

If you can identify this tree / nut, please give me feedback!

I was amazed and grateful at how forgiving other people can be in a crisis and how willing to pitch in and help when the “going gets rough.”

This is a close up of the "pod" as it grows on the tree; notice the shape of the leaves.

Being flexible and adaptable reminds me of the principle behind a rubber band. It’s a simple tool that we use all the time to bind things together. It will stretch and adapt as needed; but only to a point. Its flexibility may be tested if pushed too far. When we press it beyond its capability, a rubber band will snap. But it will expand and grow if we ease it slowly and carefully; a simple lesson in how to adapt in a crisis.

Another "work in progress" with editing marks; 11 x 14 oil on canvas

Capture those magic moments before they get away!

I’m usually a “hang in there” kind of person. I stayed in a 30 year marriage long after I knew that things were never going to change, and I endured a miserable job even after I discovered the boss was a manic depressive chameleon. He ran hot and cold, but always impatient and mean.

I’m not a quitter, and I can always be depended upon to do my job. But when daily circumstances become stressful that’s the time to pull back and re-examine what you really want in life. Can you relate?

I’ve always been able to juggle my schedule and keep several things going at once, but suddenly I’m feeling more overworked than usual. I’m finding fewer hours for creative ventures. I haven’t painted in days, and I’m still trying to finish part of the Neptune Series I started a few weeks ago.

We all go through this hassle each day: deciding how to spend our time, which comes first the chicken for the table or the golden egg for the bank? Our well-planned days seem to unravel before us and we run from one endless pursuit to another. Our “to do” list outgrows the available minutes we have to spend. We start feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.

Surprise! It isn’t more speed, more arms or more time we need it’s a slowing down of our mind and our attitudes. Instead of trying to cram more “stuff” into fewer hours, we need to savor the ones we have.

Did you know that when you ratchet down your fast pace and live in the moment, it seems like time moves at a slower pace? When you delight in each bite of food, rolling it over on your tongue, chewing it purposefully and immersing yourself in its flavor that extra five minutes you spend actually seems like 15?

When you rein in your usual tendency to forge ahead, pause and enjoy a child’s smile, your spouse’s goodbye kiss, a neighbor’s wave, the new fallen snow or the freshly mowed lawns of your neighbor’s. Notice how your body relaxes. Instead of frazzled nerves and a churning stomach, you’re in the moment. More than that, you’re in command of your mind and emotions. You’ve mastered the art of self-control.

If it were only this easy! I know it’s a constant battle. But wanting to gain mastery over your life is a virtuous desire. I dropped some activities thinking I was going to get on top of things, but I took on more responsibilities instead to fill the void. If you really want to have more time for the things you enjoy, avoid this trap!

Pacing and balance are our two greatest allies. Life has a rhythm that helps us sense when things are off and when they’re not. By nailing down the moments and reveling in each passing second, we lay claim to our dreams.

Stress Busters and Biz Builders

"Raccoons at Sunrise" 16 x 20 acrylic on canvas, framed

In the real world, stress is real. We battle traffic. We quarrel with a spouse or a teenager. We juggle schedules. We face deadlines, and we fight our own demons all at the same time. How do you keep all the balls in the air without losing your grip? How do you keep "The House that Jack Built" from tumbling down?

If I had "the" answer, we'd all be cured. The fact is that none of these outside forces are ever going to change. The only permanent change comes from within. For believers, faith in God gives them the determination and the strength to carry on. For some people, physical activity helps them let off steam. For others, various relaxation techniques can take the edge off.

"Wasatch Mountains" acrylic on rice paper, 8 x 10

As a child, I had my own special escape plan; a world of my own created in a wooded area not far from my house. I lived in Bremerton, Washington where the Hemlock and Cedar trees climbed like "Jack's Beanstalk" far into the heavens. My friends and I made our own "hide-out" hidden within the bushy undergrowth. We used leftover linoleum slabs for the floor and the rest was left to our imaginations.

In my mind, this glorious quiet place was a wondrous castle where anything was possible. I became brave and daring within its walls. I had super powers and super human strength. The older kids dared me to jump on the thick rope swing and sail across the deep gully to the other side. I sat on the twisted knot as they pulled the rope back, and back, and back again.

"Sand Crane Dreams" 24 x 18 acrylic on canvas

When they let go, I sailed into space. I was conquering new worlds on the brink of discovery. The wind whistled in my ears. The gully beneath was dark and forbidding, but I was unafraid. Clutching the rope, I felt an incredible sense of freedom. My mother came in time to see me leave the safety of the ledge. Her shouts and her fears diminished my fun, but the thrill lingered on long after I'd had my bottom spanked for taking such a risk.

What can I say? I've always been a risk taker. When fears engulf me, I return to that special place where I experienced freedom and clarity. I take myself there when I'm stuck in a rut or I need a kick in the pants to get creating again. Too much stress is a bad thing, but just enough keeps me on the edge of creating something wonderful!

To see Carol's special creations, go to:

http://carol-allen-anfinsen.artistwebsites.com  

"Fall in Apple Valley" 8 x 10 acrylic on rice paper

"Waste Not Want Not" Tip of the Day

Next time you damage a wonderful watercolor painting by creating a dark unremovable smudge or by blending a color that ends up looking like mud, don't throw it away! Take a small 4x6 or 8x10 mat and place it over different parts of your painting. Sometimes a beautiful mini-picture emerges. Cut it out and turn it into a print or a greeting card. If nothing else, tear your painting into strips and give the strips away at art shows as original book marks. People will be impressed, and everyone loves a free give-away! 

Acrylic and oil paintings can be treated in this same way by using online photo programs. Crop the good parts and turn them into prints or greeting cards. Don't let anything go to waste. If worse comes to worse, sand off and repaint an old canvas that didn't sell and start again.

Ruts Vs. Routines and the “Smarts” to know the Difference

I love routine. I always have and I always will. Routine gives me security. Routine makes me feel safe and helps me develop habits that keep me on track. Staying on task helps me accomplish what I set out to do.

Routines are delightful because you do them without thinking. They become automatic. I know that at a certain hour of the day, I will paint. I will write. I will carry out my dreams come “hell or high water!”

My husband knows never to interrupt me when I’m painting. He knows I never answer phone calls when my hands and elbows are dripping in acrylic paint. If friends call, they go into voice mail. The world literally goes on hold when I’m at canvas working with fast-drying acrylics.

If my husband chooses to converse with me, he may get a growl in return. If my agenda changes either by crook or necessity, I’m not a happy camper. I may even have a temper tantrum of disproportionate proportions. My day becomes lop-sided. The monster within comes out. I feel betrayed, cheated, and forlorn; oh, woe is me and a pox on everyone’s house.

If you’ve stayed with me to the end of this tirade, you now know the difference between routines and ruts. Routines are good “if” they help you stick to your goals and enable you to get your work done. Routines become “ruts” when they hold us prisoner and don’t allow us to be flexible. Without flexibility you can kiss creativity goodbye.

Ruts can entrap us, hold us, and make our lives miserable. The first time I went cross-country skiing it was late in the season. Hard, icy tracks were molded on the pathways.  As long as you stayed within their boundaries, it was smooth sailing. Get out of the grooves and you went sailing into the trees. That is exactly what I did when I came to my first turn. The ruts were so deep that you literally had to jump and twist to make the turn. Not something a novice like me could do.

(New work in Progress: "Reggae Night" first layer drawing w/edits)

Ruts stifle creativity. Spontaneity is also a critical component. Awareness and objectivity need to be in control 24/7. Creative thinkers must be good observers. They must be willing to adjust when opportunity knocks. Inspiration is a product not of time or mind, but of heart and soul. The door must always be open. The spirit must always be prepared to receive.

Go ahead and plan your schedules and routines. Set your goals and work toward them; but leave yourself an opening for the unexpected, the priceless moments with loved ones and family, and the sudden impulses that may flutter suddenly on your window sill or whisper in your ear in a moment of reverie.

"Tansy's Pride" 9 x 12 Pastel on Bristol

Here are a few tips:

·         Routines guide our way.

·         Ruts hold our feet to the fire.

·         Routines allow movement and growth.

·         Ruts exhaust us and make us feel like slaves.

·         Routines involve familiar tasks and a safe place to explore ideas.

·         Ruts become rigid trails that lead us nowhere.

·         Routines let us experiment without criticism.

·         Ruts are monotonous black holes that go nowhere.

·         Routines ground us while our mind soars.

·         Ruts create anxiety and worry.

Is a change as good as a rest? Not if rest is what you really need.

My mother-in-law used to say: “A change is as good as a rest.” It might have been for her, but for me with my brood of six, sometimes change didn't cut it. What I needed big time was a rest from the numerous demands on my time and the physical demands of mothering, cooking, and cleaning.

People hate to admit it, but there are times when rest is just what the doctor ordered. So instead of involving ourselves in more activity and “busyness,” we need to relax and turn down the volume of our lives.

Meditation is almost a lost art. In today’s world we are seldom unplugged. Noise and confusion descends upon us from the moment we wake up until we go to bed at night. And sometimes the momentum keeps us awake when we should be asleep. Our minds never stop. The wheels keep turning and our nerves keep twitching long into the night.

That’s why vacations were invented. A real vacation should separate us from distraction, stress, and worry. 

Mini-vacations will do in a pinch. My husband and I went with friends to relax on the beach. We chose an isolated spot and sat for hours chatting, smelling the ocean air, watching wave after wave collapse on the sand.

When we returned that evening, I felt like I’d been on vacation. I was totally into the moment. I felt relaxed and revived.

The other day I suggested we attend a movie I’d wanted to see. As I told my husband: “I need to get out of myself.” There’s nothing like a good movie to pull you out of a funk.

Creative people are driven by their passions. And let’s face it that can be exhausting at best. If we don’t take a breather every now and then we’re in danger of burn out. Poor health can also affect stamina. If you want to work at peak performance, the first place to start is with your physical and spiritual health.

While it’s true that pain and sorrow may add meaning and purpose to your work, the reverse is equally true: vibrant health, self esteem and positive thinking give you the power and energy you need to be productive.

Balanced living and setting priorities is the only way to achieve happiness and success. If you are driven to succeed but you neglect your family or your health, the results will eventually stall your efforts. 

Pay attention to the signs. If your tail is dragging and your mind feels like it’s full of cotton, take some time off to relax, reassess, and refill your creative juices. When you come back you’ll feel recharged, refreshed, and changed. 

Pacing Yourself for Success

Painting "An Open Book" -- 16x20 mixed media

Last night I was supposed to attend a demo by well-known artist Charles Miano at the Alliance for the Arts. But after a very hectic week, what with doctor appointments and other classes, I ended up with a migraine and nausea. Feeling wobbly, and fearful of driving with my meds, I copped out in favor of rest.

Our world contributes to stress and illness. We grapple with technology, social networking and traffic in order to compete and meet deadlines. Today, marketing takes more time than the actual doing or producing; but without product, we have no business.

We make choices about what to do, and decisions about what to ignore. Often times, it’s our families, our children and our spouses who get left behind. Sometimes our neglect spills over into other areas of our life, and we fail to feed and enrich our spiritual side. How do we get out of this rut, this viscious cycle that drops us to our knees and flattens us on the couch or bed?

Drawing -- "Broken Hearted" 11x14 pastel on paper

We must get our priorities in order. We must remember what’s important. Without health, we have no life. If we neglect family, divorce can face us down the road and our children may suffer. Without a spiritual foundation, we may as some professionals have done, take our own life or suffer mental breakdown.

We need to treat our body and our inner self with the same care and respect that we do our career and family. Here are my solutions to help alleviate stress:

• Trust in yourself and believe in yourself. You have honed your skills. You are a professional. Relax and know that you are capable of doing your work, and meeting your goals and deadllines. Don’t allow yourself to stress and worry about the outcome. Be positive!

• Trust in your muse, your God or higher power. He wants you to succeed. He wants your happiness. Inspiration will come because you have prepared your mind and heart to receive it. Trust that ideas will come to you. Exercise your belief and faith. Do your part by allowing this power into your heart. Clear your mind to receive what is yours.

• Focus on your higher priorities and trust in God to take care of the rest. Don’t allow nagging thoughts of “should dos” to interfere with your calm determination. Press forward with the duties at hand. Deal with “one crisis at a time.” That’s all any of us can handle, after all.

Pastel drawing -- 11x14 "Serena Shines"

When the time comes for you to pour out your soul on paper, canvas, or product, go with the energy flow. Don’t worry! Inspiration will come because you have trusted, waited, and fulfilled your higher priorities. You are ready to receive what you were meant to receive. Your heart will soar, your fingers will move, and you will know that your muse, your God is alive and well.

Time -- Illusive Thief that Sucks the Life Out of Life

Insett Kirke -- Norway

I’ve written about time before, or the lack thereof; how it gets away from us, pushes us, stresses us out, and strangles the life out of us. Recently, I experienced a different phenomenon. A time warp, perhaps, where time literally seemed to stand still.

I had several appointments that day and knew that planning was essential to pull it off. I got up early, allowing plenty of time for my toilette and the time it would take to travel to my first appointment. In the end, I had an hour to spare. I retrieved important e-mail and checked my blogs. Thirty minutes left, amazing.

Eager to arrive on time, I set the timer on the stove to be sure distractions wouldn’t delay my “best laid plans.” Then I read. I luxuriated on my leather sofa and read. Each time I looked at my wrist watch it seemed that time was holding back, just for me. The adage “a watched pot never boils” was true!

I was reminded that with God “one day is like a thousand years” from an eternal perspective. This brief experience had made me reflective. So this is what it’s like to have an eternity of time? Each moment becomes precious and fully lived without escaping into nothingness. I wanted this experience to last forever. I felt in control.

I read another two pages and then the timer went off with a loud bleating beep, beep, beep. My usual response when this happens is to call: “Coming Mother,” a hearkening back to my belligerent childhood and the rebelliousness of youth.

The rest of the day was pretty much swallowed up with errands and appointments, but I did notice that in between there were moments of supreme calm when I could snatch some reverie and soul searching. When you are “clock watching,” it’s amazing how many pages you can read in a few minutes, how many miles your mind can travel into imagination and escape to creative realms where seconds seem like hours.

Personality Sketch

Next time you feel like you don’t have time to study, to read or to paint, turn yourself into a clock watcher and see how it slows down your life. After all, time is a man made thing and we are eternal beings who balk at control and the pacing of our lives.

“Your sacred space is
where you can find yourself
again and again.” Joseph Campbell

Of course, planning ahead helps. So does organization. But in those “in between” moments you really are in control. What will you do with those found minutes and seconds? Will you waste them or discount them as being too little to late?

“One great thing about growing old
is that nothing
is going to lead to anything.
Everything is of the moment.” Joseph Campbell

We only have one life to live. Throw out negative thinking. Refuse its entrance into your brain. Dwell on what you can do right now, in this precious moment. Live!

Yesterday is already gone. Dismiss it from your mind, and move on. Tomorrow and its blessings or problems are unknown. Live in the moment. View your life as eternal and treat yourself with the utmost respect. We humans are as fragile as butterflies. We come and go in a whisper. Cherish each moment!

“To live in a sacred space
is to live in a symbolic environment
where spiritual life is possible,
where everything around you
speaks of exaltation of the spirit.” Joseph Campbell