Ready to Shelve your Dreams and Give Up?

(Book cover illustration -- "Madison Morgan: When Dogs Blog, by Pam Torres)

Have you reached that point in your career where you're ready to put it all behind you? Perhaps your business hasn't taken off as you expected. You may be putting in the time without seeing results. The numbers may not be adding up. Your exposure hasn't brought the sales. It isn't that you're not working your tail off. It's that your emotional and physical stamina may be waning.

Don't give up just yet. This could be the lull before the storm when things begin to pick up. Or it may be that you have more to give than you think.

Examine your initial business plan. Is there something you can tweak? Are you putting in as much time to develop your business as you did in the beginning when you were full of enthusiasm? Is your lack of success a clue that your approach needs to be modified for a changing market?

(Illustration for "Madison Morgan")

Self-examination is imperative. Are you giving it all you've got or are you worn out? Do you simply need some motivation and inspiration? This is why sales conferences and group think were invented. Perhaps you need a "jolt out-of-the-blue" from an uninvolved mentor to take a look at what you can no longer see. Is there something you're missing? What could you do differently?

When we dig in our heels and refuse to seek help either from stubbornness or independence, we may lose the opportunity that could make all the difference. Even an honest appraisal, although brutal, may at least help us in the vital decision making.

There is no shame in defeat if you've done all you can to succeed. Chalk it up to experience and try again. Successful business owners fail many times before they finally succeed. A new product, a new partner, a new approach may provide the winning key that opens the door to success.

(Two mischievous boys get their comeuppance)

If you believe deeply in your own success, even discouragement will not deter your efforts. But if you're teetering on the brink of shelving everything you've worked for you definitely need an objective expert to either confirm or negate that opinion.

I heard the billionaire Mark Cuban say on Shark Tank that the most important component of a successful business was to love what you do. Without that driving force a business may crumble in on itself. But with a fiery passion eventually you're sure to succeed. Even if your first business fails, your vigorous efforts provide the needed steps for your next attempt. Effort and vision are never wasted.

(Back cover of "Madison Morgan")

Reality Brings us Back to Square One

"Namesake" acrylic on canvas

I just read something that flipped me out: “Want to be happy? Don’t build a career based on something you love doing.” from the book “Transform” by Jeff Haden.

Isn’t this what most of us want and desire? Haden continues: “Where business success is concerned passion is almost always the result of time and effort. It’s not a prerequisite. Passion is the side effect of mastery.”

And from Cal Newport, a professor at Georgetown University: “Skills trump passion. Too many people confuse a hobby with a career.” For that reason, Newport suggests that we apply the test: “Will people pay you for it? Will they pay you a lot?

“Potential customers don’t care about your passion or your potential,” Newport says. “Customers care about giving up money.”

As my readers know, I’m an avid watcher of Shark Tank on CNBC. Robert Herjevac pulled this gem out of his hat and used it on a wanna-be entrepreneur: “A goal without a timeline is simply a dream.”

How many times have you put in the “time” expecting results because you were passionate about what you were doing and then wondered “where’s the success?”

"Raccoons at Sunrise" (getting a drink before they go back to sleep) acrylic on 16x20 canvas/framed

Sorry to burst your bubble, but passion is not enough. Practice and hard work is not enough. Unless you take the necessary steps to set goals and complete them, you are simply spinning your wheels. Unless people are willing to pay you money for your skills, you simply have a nice hobby.

Haden’s contention is that once your skills are improved and you become confident, the passion follows automatically. If your career or business takes off, you will fall in love with the process.

You may agree or disagree, but it certainly made me rethink my goals and aspirations. Still, I believe it is much easier to work hard when you’re doing what you love. The feeling of “anticipation” is much more welcome than that of “dread.” Being eager to go to work is much better than hating the thought of it.

It’s like arguing about the adage “which came first the chicken or the egg.” And does it really matter in the end? Probably not; but I’ll bet my bottom dollar that it’s much easier to get up in the morning if you’re looking forward to your job.  Yes, we’ve all worked for peanuts at some point in our lives. We all must take a dead-end job just to pay the bills, but that doesn’t mean it has to last forever.

I admire those who have the courage to quit doing what they dislike and start doing what they love. People who quit the “rat race” in order to raise goats or llamas; and why not if they love the farm life and the freedom to do what they enjoy? 

I’m not the barnyard type, but I admire their macho! Sometimes you just have to see if you can. Why not follow your dreams to the end and find out if you have what it takes to make and grow a business? If you don’t try, you’ll come to the end of your life and wonder why? If others can build a business, why not you? If others can make their dreams come true, why not you?

"Brown Thrasher" 16x20 acrylic on canvas

Setbacks and Stumbling Blocks are only Temporary

1st Draft -- Every time I start an acrylic painting, I get discouraged -- They look so awful!

When you feel defeated; you often think it’s over. Whether your sadness is due to a failed romance, a rocky marriage or a business on the brink of crashing, you feel that the end is near.

Even fallout with a friend or relative may leave you battle fatigued.  By constantly dwelling on the situation, your anxiety only increases. You seem to be stuck between anger and self-pity. Sadly, negative thinking is self-fulfilling. When you’re in a dark place, the whole world seems bleak. You feel like you’re drowning, and you can’t get your head above water.

We have all been there at some point in our lives. If it’s any comfort, your situation is not new. If you reach out for help or information, you’re likely to find the solution to your problem, or at least some ideas that will launch you into a new pattern of thinking and behavior.

(With every layer of paint, it gets better and better)

The adage: “When you fall off a horse -- get back on again” is not just meaningless jargon. In fact, it’s the only way to overcome fear, to confront the mistakes of the past, and to discover a new vision for the future. If you succeed, you will be stronger and wiser.

But be careful of repeating past mistakes. Don’t be afraid of change. Find new ways of doing old and familiar things. Once you discover a new formula, and you’ve proven that it works, repeating your success will establish its effectiveness.

Beware of new ruts that can keep you from progressing. Grooves are comfortable and familiar, but you must stay abreast of current styles and trends in order to stay relevant. Drastic changes are never a good idea. “Go gentle into that good night,” as the poet penned, and your customers will go with you. Pull the rug out from under them and they won’t recognize your brand. Cool heads must always prevail when you are evaluating new methods of going forward.

Don’t give up just because you’ve had a few setbacks. Stay on track. Focus your energies and forge ahead.  It’s never a good plan to change proven ideas in mid-stream. Give them a chance to develop. If there’s substance they will float and multiply. If they don’t, they’ll fade into failure and oblivion. Knowing when to “let go” of your sinking babies can save you time and money.

Always have another plan, another baby waiting in the wings to carry you forward. Wise investors don’t put all of their eggs in one basket. Neither should you! Have enough hidden gems in reserve to keep you focused on moving ahead rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Markets change. You must adapt at each turn. Being bored with the process is a red flag. You’re either in the wrong business or you’re focusing on the wrong product. Try something new. Give yourself a break and analyze what’s going wrong.

(Sometimes you only have a vague idea how it's going to turn out)

Taking your business pulse periodically will help you gauge whether you have the stamina to continue.  Don’t sell yourself short either. What drives you? Are you hungry enough to succeed or are you willing to let your hopes and dreams falter? Take that bite out of the apple and go for it!

"Reggae Night" juried into a gallery, and won "Honorable Mention" in online contest

"Namesake" Layers of paint and a dream

Long ago, it was: “Let it all Hang Out!" Today they sing: “Let it Go – Let it Go!”

"Living the Dream" Valentine Card @ https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt 

In the process of making goals and resolutions, I’m reading two books that I would highly recommend: The first is “Transform: Dramatically Improve Your Career, Business, Relationships and Life: One Simple Step at a Time” by Jeff Haden, a motivational style book filled with great suggestions. And the second is “Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products” by Nir Eyal with Ryan Hoover that contains practical advice on how to make things happen.

For example, Jeff Haden directs: “Do little things differently.” We usually think our goals should be larger than life and that we need to “eat an elephant” in order to really accomplish anything. Precisely why we give up too soon and don’t fulfill our dreams leaving us feeling discouraged and disappointed.

But if we do small things first and enjoy a sense of accomplishment, we are more likely to keep going. Even better, if we try to do those “little things” in a different way, we may develop style and flare. We will stand out from the crowd. Haden’s theme is probably a new twist on the old “Think outside the box.”

"Flamenco Flamingo" https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt 

Nir Eyal provides a real study guide, discussing the importance of devising a “trigger” designed to “hook” your audience/buyer into “Action” by offering “variable rewards” for their initial “investment” of time and money; all designed to increase “retention” (of customers) and get them into the buying or reading habit. Of course, the study is much more detailed than this, but you get the picture.

Most of us have allowed things to slide during the holidays, and now it’s time to get back to work! I know I’m dusting in places that haven’t been touched in weeks. Bits of glitter and pine are nestling into my carpets and will probably catch my eye for many weeks to come.

I’m intent on cleaning out the cobwebs in my head, the contents of my desk and the inside of my closets. Like Elsa in the Disney movie “Frozen,” I’m determined “To Let it Go – Let it Go” as I cleanse the house of clutter and excess. My jammed closets will finally get relief as this “saver and hoarder” is determined to purge or perish!

"Flamingoes in Love" https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt

Always preparing for “hard times,” I hold on too tightly and too long to things that have already served their purpose. Even my older paintings have probably brought me to a higher skill level and deserve to be retired and given a fresh coat of paint and a new perspective.

I’m going to come to grips with what I am: an artist and a writer, and quit trying to be like every other woman I know. I’m me. Yes, I can be messy at times, and I’m not a fanatic housekeeper; but I sure do enjoy creating a new story or composition using colors I’ve never tried before or trying to express, in a new way, my passion for living. 

Whatever it is in your life that you’re trying to unleash and bring into focus, I hope you’re successful. At the very least, you should enjoy the process.

"Puppy Love" https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt

“Let it Go” from the Disney Movie, “Frozen”

Enjoy Someone Else’s Wild Dreams until Yours Manifest

When my oldest son was still in college, he mailed me a book called: “Russian Lacquer, Legends and Fairy Tales, Vol. II, by Lucy Maxym. At the time, he was in Russia performing with a musical touring company from the university.

He wrote in the inside cover: “Dear Mom, I saw these Russian lacquer boxes in Sitka and couldn’t help thinking of you. Even the smallest boxes are very expensive, so I thought this book was a real deal, plus in it are over 20 fabulous fairy tales. Notice the similarity of “The Flying Ship” to the movie Baron Von Munchausen.”

I still enjoy looking at the paintings. Imagine! Each detailed masterpiece is done on the lid of a black lacquer box! That fact alone is inspirational. The breathtaking beauty and precision of these compositions makes you realize the incredible patience that is required for something as lasting and valuable as a well-thought out painting.

My son goes on: “Maybe you could put together a few favorite stories from these and I’ll illustrate them.”

At the time, he was an up and coming artist, majoring in advertising. I was not yet an artist, but was working as a freelance writer. Shows you how quickly life and the roles we play change over time.

Today he is a consultant and science teacher after being nominated Teacher of the Year by his peers. My son was right about one thing, I am lifted by these illustrations. I can literally spend an afternoon examining each scene and reflecting on the stories behind them.

I am also intimidated by their detail and the enormous energy that went into each design. It is good to aspire. We need to spend time viewing the classics and the masters-of-their-craft to see what we can learn from them, but not at the expense of our own promise.

Some of us are more detail oriented than others. We each have limitations of one kind or another. But unless we plant the seeds, the illumination will not germinate. How many dormant seeds do you have lying beneath the surface?  When was the last time you watered them with the necessary nutrients to help them grow? We need to recognize that practice, time, and a valiant effort come before success.

1. Define your dreams.
2. Note your progress no matter how small. 
3. Compare this year’s work with the last. 
4. Adjust your attitudes and eliminate negative thinking. 
5. Construct and re-structure your goals; each month if necessary. 
6. Look at the big picture. Baby steps are magnified when you see them altogether.

This blog was first published on Dec. 17, 2013. I chose to repeat it today!

Capture those magic moments before they get away!

I’m usually a “hang in there” kind of person. I stayed in a 30 year marriage long after I knew that things were never going to change, and I endured a miserable job even after I discovered the boss was a manic depressive chameleon. He ran hot and cold, but always impatient and mean.

I’m not a quitter, and I can always be depended upon to do my job. But when daily circumstances become stressful that’s the time to pull back and re-examine what you really want in life. Can you relate?

I’ve always been able to juggle my schedule and keep several things going at once, but suddenly I’m feeling more overworked than usual. I’m finding fewer hours for creative ventures. I haven’t painted in days, and I’m still trying to finish part of the Neptune Series I started a few weeks ago.

We all go through this hassle each day: deciding how to spend our time, which comes first the chicken for the table or the golden egg for the bank? Our well-planned days seem to unravel before us and we run from one endless pursuit to another. Our “to do” list outgrows the available minutes we have to spend. We start feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.

Surprise! It isn’t more speed, more arms or more time we need it’s a slowing down of our mind and our attitudes. Instead of trying to cram more “stuff” into fewer hours, we need to savor the ones we have.

Did you know that when you ratchet down your fast pace and live in the moment, it seems like time moves at a slower pace? When you delight in each bite of food, rolling it over on your tongue, chewing it purposefully and immersing yourself in its flavor that extra five minutes you spend actually seems like 15?

When you rein in your usual tendency to forge ahead, pause and enjoy a child’s smile, your spouse’s goodbye kiss, a neighbor’s wave, the new fallen snow or the freshly mowed lawns of your neighbor’s. Notice how your body relaxes. Instead of frazzled nerves and a churning stomach, you’re in the moment. More than that, you’re in command of your mind and emotions. You’ve mastered the art of self-control.

If it were only this easy! I know it’s a constant battle. But wanting to gain mastery over your life is a virtuous desire. I dropped some activities thinking I was going to get on top of things, but I took on more responsibilities instead to fill the void. If you really want to have more time for the things you enjoy, avoid this trap!

Pacing and balance are our two greatest allies. Life has a rhythm that helps us sense when things are off and when they’re not. By nailing down the moments and reveling in each passing second, we lay claim to our dreams.

Dare to Expose Your Soft Under Belly

(Work in progress; acrylic under painting)

I’m showing some of my art at a small café with a Bohemian flare. The owner is trying to create a unique niche in the community. Various groups have scheduled activities there on different nights: game playing, dancing, guest bands, etc. Whether the venture will be profitable is yet to be determined.

"Hey, Coconut Mon" mixed-media (oil on acrylic under painting) 18 x 24

I love the entrepreneurial spirit. I’m always amazed at the gutsy leap of faith that entrepreneurs are willing and eager to take. Which brings me to my next point: to be successful, you must be willing to fail. Taking chances must be an active consideration in making decisions. Either you take the plunge and risk humiliation, loss of money or reputation, in some cases, or you stagnate. It’s that simple.

Every entrepreneur, every artist gets bruised in the upward climb; daring to reveal his or her under belly in order to gain exposure. If you hold back or put self-imposed limits on yourself because of fear or embarrassment, you’ll never reach your goals nor fulfill your dreams.

(I'd like to paint this)

(Close-up of Morning Glories)

I recently purchased a rather expensive frame for a painting I want to submit to an art gallery. If it doesn’t make the juried “cut,” I’m out money and opportunity. I was still smarting for having been turned down because of a less than stellar frame. I may have over-compensated, but I’m determined.

Professionals walk a fine line between actual budgets and obtaining the necessary tools of their trade. The adage “it takes money to make money” is sadly true. Self confidence is equally important.

When you believe in yourself enough to stand up and be counted, your education and skills will make up for any lack of courage or timidity you may have. Negotiating and dealing with people are learned behaviors. Fear can be overcome through practice and determination.

(Beautiful scenes in my neighborhood that inspire me! -- This is winter here, folks!)

It never hurts to show your tender side. That doesn’t mean rolling over and playing dead, but it does mean making yourself vulnerable to exposure and opportunity.

(These sandhill cranes reminded me of Indians dancing and inspired the painting below)

"Sand Crane Dreams" mixed-media; 18 x 24

Take the Plunge; Dive into Your Work and Believe in Yourself

I’m a slow learner. I have to hear something many times before it “clicks,” and I finally understand. I have to paint many mistakes before my eyes actually see the object I’m struggling to paint. Mastering the art of painting, at least for me, has been a long and arduous journey.

Perhaps it seems that way because we don’t see how other people struggle behind the scenes. All we see is the finished product. We don’t know how many hours it took to paint that masterpiece. We sometimes wonder at the asking price, thinking it may be a tad high. Rarely do we know the time and effort that went into the project.

"Sand Cranes at Twilight"  24x30 mixed media canvas

I’m currently preparing for a show and trying to determine the price to put on my own paintings. First, I must consider the commission charged by the gallery, additional charges for credit card use, etc.; the cost of framing and materials, the amount of time and effort. By the time I consider the demands of the marketplace, my time is almost negligible!

I’m wondering if the show is really worth my efforts, and yet without publicity and advertising we remain at a standstill. There is satisfaction in seeing one’s work posted in a gallery. There is joy in making sales, even though, in the beginning of an artist’s career, it isn’t much.

"Window on Pine Island" 16x20 oil on wrap canvas

I’ll be participating with hundreds of other artists in the Art Council of Southwest Florida at Coconut Point. The location is good. The people are fantastic. Part of the fun of working with different leagues and galleries is the joy of meeting new people and making lasting friendships

.

Sure, I’ll give it a go. It’s all part of the adventure. You can’t just dip your toe in your profession or in the marketplace; eventually, you must take the plunge. Leaving your career to chance isn’t an option.

"Vikeholmen Lighthouse -- Skudeneshavn Norway" 16x20 acrylic

If you don’t give your dreams all you’ve got, you may as well hang them up to dry and let them wither on the vine of past regrets.

Dreams Light a Fire Beneath us – Reality Grounds us

Exercising imagination is critical to the artist’s life. Whether you write, perform, paint or draw, working from research and knowledge is not enough. An artist must interpret, design, and create. An artist’s work must represent his unique perspective on the world.

Artists need buyers, teachers, supporters, lovers, friends, and constant inspiration for their work. Knowing who you are and what you think about issues is critical. Having opinions and knowing why you have them brings clarity and purpose to your work. Everything an artist sees, hears, and learns becomes a stepping stone that leads to creation.

In order to grow, we must have our feet grounded in reality. We must make logical and conscious decisions every day concerning our finances, our basic needs, and the people we interact with. Constantly flowing between a living reality and a fantasy land or a dream world of our own making definitely poses problems.

"Raccoons at Sunrise"

I don’t know about you, but when I’m in creative mode, my friends and loved ones may literally have to drag me away. They may have to repeat themselves often as I escape into la la land. I may seem moody and aloof at times. I may appear distant and detached from their needs and wants.

Finding a balance between these two worlds is critical to an artist’s survival. Supportive people who share our dreams, or at least understand them, can make all the difference. Knowing us, caring about us requires effort, patience, and maturity.

The artist must also learn to compartmentalize his life in order to find balance between the realities of the here and now, and the need to make a living; between living within your means, and recognizing that others have important needs, too.

“No man is an island,” said John Donne (1572-1631). Writing a series of devotionals for Christians, he spoke about a bell that rings not only to call the preacher to come, but the congregation. The importance of Donne’s concept is also expressed in other religions, particularly Buddhism.

“…No man is an island, entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

"Sand Crane Dreams" 

And it tolls for me. It tolls for you. We’re all involved with mankind. As artists our greatest joy is in giving back to humanity, to the world we love, our personal take and interpretation of it.