Contract Agreements Need More than a Signature; they Demand Integrity!

"Art Show"  two of my paintings available at http://carol-allen-anfinsen.artistwebsites.com

We’re hearing a lot about respect these days. Do the “cops” respect blacks? Do blacks in general respect police officers? When people disagree with the President, is that showing disrespect? I’ve listened to the arguments on both sides.

I saw the NYPD turn their backs on the mayor who they felt was culpable in the killing of several police officers. I heard the angry mobs shout: “What do we want? Dead cops!” 

Finally, a lone voice spoke up. A voice addressed to both sides. “Respect must be earned,” he said. “Respect comes when both parties feel that their concerns are being addressed.”

Instead, what we got on the public stage was a “shouting match.” Even hard facts were ignored in deference to emotion.

Trust is another one of those words. We all want it. Some of us think we deserve it. But trust is a condition that exists when both sides feel they are being listened to and heard. Trust is not given out like a smile; it should be tested and proven. Like respect, trust must be earned. When both exist, it is because both sides have met half-way to make the relationship work.

"A Joyful Heart"  Pastel on 11x14 bristol; matted and ready to frame.

I did a writing project some years ago for a man who belonged to my church. Because of the so-called “spiritual connection” I gave him my trust and accepted him at his word.

When the project was finished, I turned it over and expected a check in return. Come to find out, he had messed up his end of the negotiation and “connected” with a person who had no authority whatsoever. The person in charge had already commissioned the project from someone else. As a result, the friend who hired me refused to give me payment.

I viewed it as a lack of integrity. After all, I had put in my time and kept my part of the agreement. Turns out he did not have the wherewithal to pay me. All he had was a dream and a slick sales pitch. I regretted it, but I had to take him to Small Claims Court to get paid. By the time I received my commission minus court fees, it was a pittance. In addition, I’d built up an enormous amount of resentment toward him.

When people make promises they know they cannot keep that is a lie. When people lie to us, we can no longer respect them. When respect goes out the window, so does trust.

Here is the formula for success:  Integrity = respect + trust.  In the reverse: Lies = lack of respect, lack of trust, and a broken relationship.

"Fish Market" acrylic on canvas

Trust and respect have nothing to do with color. There are almost as many black cops as there are white ones. Respect is a way of treating others. But here’s the kicker. You cannot give respect to someone who calls you names, abuses you or threatens your life. It is impossible!

Trust is a gift people give you when you treat them well, and you’re upfront and honest with them in your dealings. You cannot trust someone who calls you names, lies to you, threatens you, or harms you in any way. It is impossible! On the other hand, they cannot trust you if you have broken the law and refuse to obey authority. In other words, by your actions, you have not earned their respect.

Do you see how important integrity and honesty is in your dealings with other people? Oh, sure you may get away with a lie here or a punch in the nose there, but sooner or later it’s bound to catch up to you. When you use bullying tactics on others it may turn against you in the end. When you persist, don’t be surprised if someone or something puts a stop to it one way or another. 

Trust and respect is a two-way street. If you refuse to cooperate or listen to what others have to say, it’s like putting up a road block. If you know you’re in the wrong and you refuse to make things right, you’re simply making matters worse.

"Tansy's Pride" pastel on 11x14 bristol; matted and ready to frame.

Agreements cannot be made when there is a lack of trust or respect between the interested parties. If one side is willing to compromise or cooperate and the other one isn’t, you cannot reach a consensus. Only if both parties are willing to put their grievances down can you move forward into reconciliation and resolution. 

When my former employer made known that he was unwilling to keep his end of the bargain, I had no choice but to pursue him legally in order to get paid which is what we had agreed to. Lesson learned: Get things in writing and ask for half the full amount up front as all contractors do. It’s only common sense!

Long ago, it was: “Let it all Hang Out!" Today they sing: “Let it Go – Let it Go!”

"Living the Dream" Valentine Card @ https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt 

In the process of making goals and resolutions, I’m reading two books that I would highly recommend: The first is “Transform: Dramatically Improve Your Career, Business, Relationships and Life: One Simple Step at a Time” by Jeff Haden, a motivational style book filled with great suggestions. And the second is “Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products” by Nir Eyal with Ryan Hoover that contains practical advice on how to make things happen.

For example, Jeff Haden directs: “Do little things differently.” We usually think our goals should be larger than life and that we need to “eat an elephant” in order to really accomplish anything. Precisely why we give up too soon and don’t fulfill our dreams leaving us feeling discouraged and disappointed.

But if we do small things first and enjoy a sense of accomplishment, we are more likely to keep going. Even better, if we try to do those “little things” in a different way, we may develop style and flare. We will stand out from the crowd. Haden’s theme is probably a new twist on the old “Think outside the box.”

"Flamenco Flamingo" https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt 

Nir Eyal provides a real study guide, discussing the importance of devising a “trigger” designed to “hook” your audience/buyer into “Action” by offering “variable rewards” for their initial “investment” of time and money; all designed to increase “retention” (of customers) and get them into the buying or reading habit. Of course, the study is much more detailed than this, but you get the picture.

Most of us have allowed things to slide during the holidays, and now it’s time to get back to work! I know I’m dusting in places that haven’t been touched in weeks. Bits of glitter and pine are nestling into my carpets and will probably catch my eye for many weeks to come.

I’m intent on cleaning out the cobwebs in my head, the contents of my desk and the inside of my closets. Like Elsa in the Disney movie “Frozen,” I’m determined “To Let it Go – Let it Go” as I cleanse the house of clutter and excess. My jammed closets will finally get relief as this “saver and hoarder” is determined to purge or perish!

"Flamingoes in Love" https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt

Always preparing for “hard times,” I hold on too tightly and too long to things that have already served their purpose. Even my older paintings have probably brought me to a higher skill level and deserve to be retired and given a fresh coat of paint and a new perspective.

I’m going to come to grips with what I am: an artist and a writer, and quit trying to be like every other woman I know. I’m me. Yes, I can be messy at times, and I’m not a fanatic housekeeper; but I sure do enjoy creating a new story or composition using colors I’ve never tried before or trying to express, in a new way, my passion for living. 

Whatever it is in your life that you’re trying to unleash and bring into focus, I hope you’re successful. At the very least, you should enjoy the process.

"Puppy Love" https://www.etsy.com/people/AnfinsenArt

“Let it Go” from the Disney Movie, “Frozen”

New Beginnings – A Ring of Hope in the New Year

"Twigs and Twitters" 11x14 oil on canvas

The bells are sounding, balloons are dropping, fireworks are exploding. A chorus of “auld Lang syne” rises on the crisp air. Couples kiss, and a glimmer of hope glazes every eye. Old things are gone, but not forgotten. The New Year is upon us.

Remembered are the things we’ve done that need a “do over.” The mistakes we’ve made that haunt our thoughts. The angry words spoken now hanging heavy on our list of regrets. Perhaps next year will be better, we think. If I just try harder, maybe everything will be all right.

The problem is we can never get better on our own. No matter how hard we try, alone we usually fail. Some people add prayer to the equation which gives them strength. Others need the encouragement of family or friends. Alone, we may cave in or hold a pity party in our honor. We may sink into depression. Together we become strong.

No wonder groups like Alcoholics Anonymous have a buddy system to keep each other on track. They also look to a higher power than their own. There is no shame in depending on others, especially God. There is no dishonor in failing to achieve alone what you desire.

(First lay-down of acrylic paint on 11x14 canvas) Decided to eliminate egg-beaters!

Self esteem is increased when we refuse to give up. It is strengthened when we get back up after we fall and try again. I’m battling my own problems. My eyesight is not as good as it used to be and the monovision contact lenses I wear make it difficult to see perspective and detail accurately even with the aid of glasses. Arthritis in my hands is making it increasingly difficult to paint or draw a straight line. I don’t have the mastery and control I once did.

We all have challenges we need to cope with and problems that arise each day. The New Year’s lighted torch can inspire us with hope as we overcome discouragement. Like Olympic runners who keep their eyes on the goal, we must keep our dreams and hopes in clear focus. If we falter, it’s usually because we take our eyes off the prize. 

When I give my “pep talks” I’m usually the audience I have in mind. Of all people in the world, I need those words of encouragement the most. If my words can help others, too, then I’m pleased. 

I wish you a happy and successful New Year, dear friends. Don’t give up, because I’m counting on you to show me the way!

(Work-in-progress) More layers of paint.

The Perfect Gift was Laid in a Manger Bringing Hope and Forgiveness to a Lost World

On Sunday, we shared a Chinese meal at a popular restaurant with our dear friends before they went their separate ways for Christmas. After dinner, we took turns opening our fortune cookies and sharing out loud the good advice and bits of wisdom inside:  “Procrastination is fear of success” and “Find a peaceful place where you can make plans for the future” were a couple of them.

Every table was full; and by the time we left, people were standing in line waiting to get inside. The lack of English speaking skills and the décor reminded me of the classic “Christmas Story” where Ralphie and his mother have an ongoing battle over his wanting a rifle for Christmas. “You’ll shoot you’re eye out,” she warns him, and eventually he almost does.

After having their Christmas turkey devoured by a pack of neighborhood dogs, the family ends up in a Chinese restaurant for dinner. The Asian staff tries to cheer them by singing: “Deck the Hars with Boughs of Horry – rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah rah rah rah”

The laughter afterward brings the family around to seeing the brighter side of every situation. Perfect families and picture perfect Christmas’s don’t exist except in the pages of Better Homes and Gardens or in the homes of Martha Stewart wanna’ be’s. So we need to grasp what joy we can and accept the rest: the torn Christmas wrappings piled on the floor, the store-bought pies, the scorched gravy and lumpy potatoes.

That first Christmas wasn’t perfect either. The straw was prickly, the stench of cattle surrounded the manger and the birth pangs were painful and real. But on that night, the hope of the world was born and unconditional love was wrapped in swaddling clothes when God became flesh. Forgiveness and mercy were given a name “and you shall call His name Jesus for He shall save His people from their sins.”

The chasm between God and man was narrowed for “Christ the Lord was born.” From that point forward, faith bridged the gap that separated us from God; and fear and hopelessness were banished forever by “the light which shines in darkness.”

Merry Christmas everybody and a Happy New Year!

Let's Illustrate a Book -- I can dream can't I?

LINK:   Inez Ibis Flies Again, the story of a courageous ibis who never gave up

It’s not easy illustrating a children’s book. It’s even harder to get published, especially if you’re both writer and illustrator. That goal has been on my bucket list for years! When I was simply a writer, I had many stories published in leading children’s magazines of the day. The bug to illustrate came later with my book: “Inez Ibis Flies Again; the story of a courageous ibis who never gave up.”

Inez still lives in my neighborhood after eleven years, and she still limps; but she has born several clutches and never seems to lack for a mate. When I see her struggling along as she forages for food, my heart goes out to her. But up in the air she soars with the best of them, free and unhampered by her disability.

Today in my blog, I’m featuring my illustrations and some accomplished idols: names like Harriet Peck Taylor, Syd Hoff, Ben Sowards, Richard Clark and Charley Parker.

Harriet Taylor’s interest in coyote lore began with a young coyote who lived in the foothills near her home. “It used to follow me on hikes with my dogs,” she says, “and once even touched noses with them.”

Most of her books include Native American Lore and nature because “If people can appreciate the beauty of the land, they will perhaps want to protect it.”

Harriet’s Coyote story is based on a Wasco Indian legend about the origin of the constellations.  
Harriet Peck Taylor's Web Site

Syd Hoff wrote many of my children’s favorite books such as “Danny and the Dinosaur.” 

I liked Hoff’s simple drawings and felt his style was more likely to become mine.
Syd Hoff's Web Site

Jane Yolen has also written several humorous dinosaur books that are full of fun like “How do Dinosaurs say Merry Christmas!”  

Yolen has found a unique way to teach children about dinosaurs in a fun way by making them almost human and bringing them into a child's world.  Jane Yolen's Book

And I can’t forget Charley Parker who is a master at creating dinosaur cartoons.
Charley Parker's Web Site

Christmas Oranges was retold by Linda Bethers and illustrated by Ben Sowards. His realistic and tender pictures remind us of the old masters in their detail and magnificence. Based on a true story, the action takes place in an orphanage many years ago.

Christmas Oranges on Amazon

The next book has its origins in Minnesota and dear to my heart. My husband was born there, and is a full-blooded Norwegian. The expression “Uff da” is Scandinavian for “Good Grief!”

Born in America, my own second generation Swedish grandmother had her own version of uff da when she said: “ooh ha.”  A little Scandinavian history helped me see that what she was really saying (or meaning) was “uff da.”

The illustrations and the humorous tale, written by Cathy Martin and illustrated by Richard Clark, keep us laughing and turning pages.  
Uff Da on Amazon

What Every Woman Wants: Baubles, Bangles and Beads -- or is it?

"A Joyful Heart" pastel on bristol board, matted and ready to frame

I may be the odd woman out, but jewelry is not my cup of tea. Topping an outfit off with a smashing pair of handmade earrings is more my style. Gaudy and expensive jewelry is not.

I prefer an understated look. I was never into ruffles which make me feel silly. I prefer simple classic lines that enhance my comfort and put me more in touch with the person I am.

We all have different tastes, likes and dislikes. We are each uniquely created. In the same way that our fingerprints and eyes are not alike, so our preferences in food, music and clothing vary. The same goes for artwork. None of us will ever see the same thing. One painting may draw us, the other may repel. That’s how the “power of the purse” works, and why certain things appeal to a broad spectrum of people while another is less popular.

"Tansy's Pride" pastel on bristol board; matted and ready to frame

The buying public is also fickle. Discrimination is often based on current trends and popular opinion. Someone once said “We are a nation of sheep.” In most instances we are.

Still, there are ways for an artist to move past that shallowness. We can acquire a “universal” appeal that extends beyond the bounds of personality, culture, and tradition. Certain subjects have broad appeal such as family, love, hope, fun, dancing, merriment, shared experiences, and familiar landmarks. I’m sure there are many many more.

A mother and child will usually arouse warm sentiments. A child learning or experiencing something new for the very first time is another appealing delight. Animals and especially pets touch a soft spot within almost everyone. Suffering, pain and sorrow strike a chord that vibrates the very soul. Any action whether joy, hate or anger that captures the human condition can be related to by many people.

"Broken" mixed media on canvas SOLD, but prints available

The skill of an artist in relating these universal truths to others in a way that is visually exciting and moving can make the experience have even more impact. Familiar shapes and hues arranged in such a way as to lead the viewer on an eye-opening or emotional journey is another way of revealing our shared humanity.

When the common things that surround us are portrayed, others can relate. Illustrate the simple beauties of the earth and in the eyes of the viewer their value is elevated and appreciated. Patterns and textures that replicate nature’s vast chromatic surface add another layer of “simpatico” that reaches out to others.

Wise use of space or sparseness of color may also emphasize loneliness, emptiness, or baroness in a way that detail and color could not; emotions that most of us associate with loss, devastation, and tragedy which we all experience at some point in our lives.

The more universal appeal your artwork contains, the greater the chances that you’ll be successful.

"With these Hands -- Hope" oil over acrylic under painting

Nail it Down, Make it Clear, Let it Happen!

"Swamp Angel" oil on canvas 16x20

The title: “Nail it down, make it clear and let it happen” is good advice whether you’re a fine artist, a performing artist or a writer. If you don’t nail down those ideas, they may scamper away forever. A brief note, a sketch, a few notes on a blank staff or a melody that gets stuck in your brain are sure to bring your thoughts back for testing.

Good ideas need to be tested. Either they blossom or they don’t. If they seem to go nowhere, they are probably just wisps of imagination. If your idea sticks and mushrooms into viable substance, it may explode later in a magical way.

When you're ready, take that sketch, that idea and develop it on paper or canvas. Make your vision as clear as possible. What your inner eye sees must be understandable to others. Giving your idea clarity becomes your first draft or your “working model.” Once you have it nailed down and visibly clear, you’re ready for the next step.

"Reggae Night" acrylic on canvas

At this point, being fluid is the key. If you’re too rigid, your efforts will become stiff and unbending. When that happens, your idea may become trite or stagnant. Freedom to float around the edges and let your inspiration lead you is crucial. Gut instinct and the willingness to take a risk or a daring leap is what separates a good artist from a great artist.

Acting or creating in a daring way is scary. You’re thinking, “Am I on the right track?” “What if this turns out to be a bad idea?” What will other people think?”

Self doubt is your worst enemy. Fear can keep you from discovering what’s just under the surface and within your grasp. Don’t get “stuck on stupid!” Believe that you are just as good as the next person in bringing a conception to fruition. Obviously training and skill assist you in this journey and make it easier to bring your passion to life.

When I started my artist blog, I wanted it to be different. Sure I was interested in featuring my art and enticing people to go to my online galleries, but I was in hopes of more. I wanted to inspire other artists, especially beginners with high aspirations, to overcome their fears and succeed.

My initial purpose was to motivate people not only to be better human beings, but to trust in their own inner voice. 

It’s sad when people give up. Even those who have become a success often give in to self-induced doubts fearing that they’re not good enough to be “up there.” 

 If you can hold on until you get past those dark days, there is usually a light, a glimmer of hope at the end.

What a shame to give up just weeks, days, hours, minutes before the light dawns and you see your way clear to turn your dreams into reality. Plant your feet on a solid foundation, dear friend, and hold on for dear life!

(Joseph Campbell's quote inspired this painting) "Release -- My Trail of Tears" 30x24 mixed media